Barstool Philly Local Smokeshow of the Day – Gianna

Introducing Gianna from Voorhees, NJ. Models are always welcome into Smokeland with open arms. Always. Support your local Philly Barstool — NOMINATE A SMOKESHOW. Send facebook links to phillytips@barstoolsports.com.

Introducing Gianna from Voorhees, NJ. Models are always welcome into Smokeland with open arms. Always.

Support your local Philly Barstool — NOMINATE A SMOKESHOW. Send facebook links to phillytips@barstoolsports.com.

By smitty posted September 2nd, 2014 at 5:30 PM

100-Year-Old Sex Therapist Still Thinks She’s Dishing Out Good Advice

Anytime the phrase "born before the invention of the stop sign" is thrown out there in a conversation about getting it in, I'm going a different route.

TIMEShe was born before the invention of the stop sign, but sex therapist Shirley Zussman has some thoughts on ‘hooking up.’ “I don’t think it’s as frantic as casual sex was in the sixties,” she says, noting that modern ‘hooking up’ isn’t as exciting without the context of a sexual revolution. Besides, she adds: “In the long run, sexual pleasure is just one part of what men and women want from each other. At 100, Dr. Zussman is still a practicing sex therapist in New York City.

Shirley you minx! Surely she can’t be serious, but nope. She’s 100 and still more confident in her sex life than I’ve ever been or will be. And I get it. Shirley’s been rounding the bases at the same time and as frequent as Babe Ruth in his glory years. She has literally lifetimes of advice about slinging it. But sorry, honey. Anytime the phrase “born before the invention of the stop sign” is thrown out there in a conversation about getting it in, I’m going a different route. I’d rather learn about sex more from two goats goosing each other than this old broad and her AARP DSL’s. But if staying in the bedroom keeps her off the roads then more power to her. For all of us.

By smitty posted September 2nd, 2014 at 4:40 PM

EVERYTHING AND MORE

That handsome young Mr. Bradley Cooper is correct, Chip Kelly does have a Ph.D in TD.

The Eagles video team did a bang job last year producing content, and so far so good in 2014. If you’re from the Philly area and are a classic Birds fan, these hit hard. Families and friends rally around the Eagles like no other team in town. It’s a culture and lifestyle that can’t be explained to outsiders. Hell, the only time my father and I hug outside of funerals is at Eagles games and dammit, I know I’m not alone in that sentiment. Football goes beyond what happens on the field in this city, but God help us if we ever get a parade. There would be no survivors.

And that handsome young Mr. Cooper guy is correct, Chip Kelly does have a Ph.D in TD. I bet that kid’s going places.

By smitty posted September 2nd, 2014 at 3:25 PM

Donovan McNabb Doesn’t Think Nick Foles Will Be A Franchise QB

UGHHHHHHHHH. For fuck's sake #5.
mcnabb

THE FANATIC – In an interview with Harry Mayes and Brian Baldinger on 97.5 The Fanatic Tuesday, McNabb, who will be calling several NFL games with Dick Stockton this season, said that despite Foles’ otherworldly production throwing for 27 touchdowns and just two interceptions in 2013, he does not see the Arizona quarterback as one that carries the “Franchise quarterback” label. “I can’t answer that but if I had to give a take, I would say no,” McNabb said. “I think what he will do, he won’t do what he did last year, that just won’t happen. I see him being maybe a 25 touchdown, 8-10 interception guy. They’re trying to have in the mind of Nick Foles, you don’t have to take chances all the time. There’s nothing wrong with checking down to the tight end, to your running back. It’s not the kind of offense that we’re going to score on the first play of the drive and get off the field. The big thing is, don’t worry about what you did last year.Things are going to change. Defenses are going adjust to you. They’ll try and take away LeSean McCoy but you are the focal point and they are going to make you beat them.”

UGHHHHHHHHH. For fuck’s sake #5. We know you’re the greatest QB to ever play in this city. Just because nobody says it every 10 seconds doesn’t mean you can’t play nice. For once, please let your guard down and admit something positive about this franchise other than when you were tits of the town. How can he even justify Foles going from a 27:2 TD:INT ratio in 13 games played to 25:10 the very next season and still not consider him a franchise QB? That’s still a pretty damn good ratio. And I’m not saying Nicky is going to repeat the kind of success he had last year because nobody can. He was as near perfect as one can get at the position. If he somehow pulls it out of his pants again this year he’ll be considered Peyton/Brady/Brees/Rodgers worthy.

But McNabb essentially proves he’s wrong about Foles right after he makes his stupid statement based on spite. He states Foles takes chances, throws deep and doesn’t check down. He’s right. And still Foles had the most efficient season for QB in NFL history. It’s not exactly “taking chances” when the odds are you’re making the right move. Why check down to the TE or McCoy (which he does frequently) when you can sling it to a receiver 30 yards down the field? I understand it’s tough to understand when you’re used to throwing diggers at people’s shins, but Foles can make those throws. Can, has and will.

Again: 27 TD’s. 2 picks. One hell of a hammer. Enough said. Give him the keys to this car for the next decade.

By smitty posted September 2nd, 2014 at 2:50 PM

Even If You Were The Czar Of Russian Dashcam Videos You’d Never See This Coming In A Billion Years

That's all folks!

Click on this at :40 for added pleasure:

 

 

That’s all folks!

The golden rule for anything Russian is expect the unexpected. A meteor here, an unprovoked invasion of a country there. This road rage video could have involved your run of the mill bat, ax or hatchet standoff or at best a small Chernobyl situation that melts the entire van. So excuse me for being a little taken back when the local Furry convention decided to hop out and beat the piss out of their comrade. The real question here is how long would the gigglers let this continue before stepping in? Because I say never. Hell, if Mickey’s head could stay on straight he was another curbstomp away from being sent to Siberia.

By smitty posted September 2nd, 2014 at 1:45 PM

Guess That Rack

Built for comfort.

hop

Read the rest of this entry »

By smitty posted September 2nd, 2014 at 1:00 PM

Eagles New K Cody Parkey Looking GREAT In His ESPN Profile

Quite possibly the whitest guy to ever put on a uniform finally got some sun.
parkey

 
Good looks, Cody! I don’t care if he’s a relatively unknown rookie, ESPN couldn’t be this stupid. The Worldwide Leader In Sports doesn’t make these kind of egregious mistakes. The only explanation has to be one of the whitest guys to ever put on a uniform finally got some sun. And good on Opie to get that much needed Vitiman D. The kid’s come a long way since Auburn and looking like there’s no shot he put his helmet on all by himself just a week ago.
 

sun

 
Seriously though, ESPN can put up a picture of Malcolm X or two giraffes fucking in Cody’s profile for all I care. This kid is going to make himself known in the league sooner than later. Preseason or not, he had complete ice water in his veins to boot 2 50+ yarders when his entire career was on the line. It’s all gravy from here. We got ourselves a kicker!!!

h/t Mark and all the 3,000 others who sent it in

By smitty posted September 2nd, 2014 at 12:25 PM

Oh Just Your Average Bloody Brawl On South Street

Good thing we stay indoors for most of the life.

Ah, South Street. One of the few areas in Center City where you can go out for a stroll and end up defending yourself to the death. One second you’re on your way to Whole Foods to pick up hummus for the woman and the next you’re spitting blood into another human’s face like an extra in 28 Days Later. Expect the unexpected on South St. Good thing we stay indoors for most of the life.

Our society needs to evolve to where it will become a Kill The Man With The Ball situation for the first person who shouts World Star in a fight. Everyone involved in the brawl just stops what they’re doing and goes after the culprit until someone else is worthless enough to yell it out. It’s gotten to the point where that’s the person who really deserves the beat down no matter the situation.

By smitty posted September 2nd, 2014 at 11:25 AM
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