Barstool Philly Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Kristina

Welcome Kristina from Penn State. The Smoke we had set up backed out last minute (damn you employers) so you get a taste of Kristina again. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. A first class Smoke coming your way out of Happy Valley. Firecracker and a half. Say what you want about PSU (and [...]

Welcome Kristina from Penn State. The Smoke we had set up backed out last minute (damn you employers) so you get a taste of Kristina again. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. A first class Smoke coming your way out of Happy Valley. Firecracker and a half. Say what you want about PSU (and I’ve said a lot), you can never knock the talent.

NEED MORE SMOKES!!! Send the Facebook links of nominations to Phillytips@barstoolsports.com

By smitty posted October 1st, 2014 at 5:30 PM

RIP To This Young Soul Who Had ‘Dayman, Fighter Of The Nightman’ As His Epitaph

Raise a Rum Ham to Alex and his delightful humor.
dayman

Reddit – My little brother recently passed away, this is on his headstone.
 

A trillion times better than the “He Showed Up” that will inevitably be placed on my tombstone. That’s if I’m lucky enough have one of those fancy dancy plots as opposed to being to be tossed in the trash. Which is a big IF. But good on Alex for making people smile from beyond the grave. Raise a Rum Ham to him and his delightful humor.

 

By smitty posted October 1st, 2014 at 5:00 PM

3-Year-Old Born Without Fingers Gets a Prosthetic Iron Man Hand

It doesn't get much more badass than a kid named "Bubba" with an Iron Man hand who lives in Maui.

ironman

 
Well it looks like someone has finally taken my spot as the coolest 3-year-old ever, and the title couldn’t have gone to a better candidate. It doesn’t get much more badass than a kid named “Bubba” with an Iron Man hand who lives in Maui. I love this kid’s thought process. He was born with a slight deformity but instead of letting that limit him, he decided to be a boss about it and now he’s a real life superhero.  It’s lemonade out of lemons only times a hundred because imagine every time this little dude hits up the beach in Maui. All the hot surfer babes are gonna come flocking over and love the shit out of him. I couldn’t be more jealous. Bubba has it made in the shade right now and that’s awesome news. So to all those punk ass snot-nosed brats who used to tease Bubba before he got his prosthetic hand, hope you have fun being complete losers from now on. There’s a new king of the playground and he’s a drug-free version of Robert Downey Jr.

By jordie posted October 1st, 2014 at 4:15 PM

‘The Fappening’ Movie Poster Would Be A Lot Better If It Were Backed Up With A Feature Film

Actually, scratch that if Hope Solo is involved. That thing will eat you alive.
fappening

 
Actually, it sucks to begin with. At least put a little more life or skin into it for goodness sake. With so much available content we’re not allowed to link to anymore there should be no issue finding better pics. Unless the movie’s supposed to be a horror movie with Hope Solo’s fanny. That box would be 10000x more evil than the one in Hellraiser. The kind of sneaky monstrosity that’ll devour the soul while hiding with the cold cuts at your local deli. Diabolically demonic.

via

By smitty posted October 1st, 2014 at 3:35 PM

Is It Racist To Only Want Your Sushi To Be Made Only By The Japanese?

It's common sense.

 

Pretty clever video because, honestly, we’ve all been there before. And it has NOTHING to do with wanting black people to roll my sushi. I wouldn’t want a Caucasian, Latino, Jew or anyone else to do it either. It’s called standards. Would you order Chinese food from a gaggle of Guido’s? Maybe. That’s only because Chinese food is delicious and all cats taste the same anyways, but usually you’d think twice. It’s eating carrots when you’re in Idaho. I like carrots but if I’m in Idaho, I want a potato. This goes for Hibachi, too. Once had a tatted up white boy come out thinking he was hot shit with the knives and onion volcano. It just wasn’t the same. If he would’ve blown us away it would have been one thing but the guy couldn’t even hit the face on the shrimp toss. A poor showing all around.

I’m not saying people who are other races can’t make Sushi just as well, but I don’t care. Gotta go with the gut in these situations. So is it racist to prefer wanting food specialized in Japan only to come from those most directly familiar with that culture? Because I think it’s an outright compliment. As Bill Parcells would say: No disrespect to the Orientals, but I want those Jap Rolls. No disrespect to anyone.

Vote 1 for You Probably Think We Should Keep Them In Interment Camps To Make Rolls, Too? and 10 for Facts Are Facts And It’s Not Racist To Want The Best:

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (98 votes, average: 8.92 out of 10)
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By smitty posted October 1st, 2014 at 2:25 PM

Your Mid-Week Eagles Fix With All The Birds Material You Can Eat

Bounce back week.

It’s About Wins from Philadelphia Eagles on Vimeo.

It’s all about the wins – Correct. Put the last one behind us and let’s whip on the Rams then Giants and head into the Bye Week at a sexy 5-1. Let’s dance:

 

 

Lane Johnson is back off his 4-game suspension and looks great. A HUGE deal for this beaten up O-Line as it not only brings back the regular starter at RT but moves The Toddfather back to guard.
 
They still like their Chip in Oregon.
 

The Birds are “prime candidate” to play in London next year. If they take away a home game and tailgate shit will hit the moon. There’s very little to look forward to in this city, don’t mess with our Sundays, Lurie.
 
Good read on Dr. Malcolm Jenkins.
 
FUCK:
 


 

Darren Sproles is named NFC Special Teams Player Of The Week. Thoughts on this prototype of a shirt? Need something in the works for this guy:
 

lil
 

Somebody lost a bet to get a tattoo on their leg over the result of a Week 4 regular season game. NEED an Eagles/49ers NFC Championship matchup this year. A noose dyed in red or green will need to be used in that bet.
 

bet
 

Noah The Bald Eagle should frighten the shit out of the Rams and terrorists:
 

bird
 
And we’ll conclude with Brian Dawkins highlights because why the hell not. Go Birds.
 

By smitty posted October 1st, 2014 at 1:30 PM

Guess That Ass

WE'VE GOT A LIVE ONE!

ia

Read the rest of this entry »

By smitty posted October 1st, 2014 at 12:45 PM

Introducing The Instagram Hardo Of The Century

The type of guy who drops his salary in casual conversation before diverting the topic to make sure you know he got laid over the weekend.

hardo

READER EMAIL: Instagram Hardo Of The Century

Smit, is this guys instagram bio thee most hardo bio in instagram history for a non-celeb? 6’8″? Trial lawyer? Wine enthusiast?? Relax hardo
 

Sweet relevant height drop, pal. He’s the type of guy who drops his salary in casual conversation before diverting the topic to make sure you know he got laid over the weekend. Do you know how he does Crossfit? Don’t worry, he’ll tell you. But I’m not gonna lie, I wouldn’t be surprised if women fell for the gag. He’s simply laying it all out on the table for the ladies. The man’s a decent looking, educated guy with a job that makes women wetter than the Nile. He even throws out there he’s got baggage. A complete humblebrag, honesty move in his mind with a “look at this cute puppy” kind of vibe. Every single aspect of this profile has been scientifically designed to grab pussy and it just might work.

In fact, I kind of like the cut of his jib. Let’s see if this route works for the ol’ SmittyBarstool IG Account (click to embiggen):
 
instagram
 
Eat shit, Esq. You got nothing on this life resume that reeks of severe depression. And now we play the waiting game.

By smitty posted October 1st, 2014 at 12:10 PM
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