Barstool Philly Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Gianna

  Introducing Gianna from Kutztown U. PSAC throwing fire on this cold thursday. Send in your smoke nomination to phillytips@barstoolsports.com or on twitter @muntbarstool​  

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Introducing Gianna from Kutztown U. PSAC throwing fire on this cold thursday.

Send in your smoke nomination to phillytips@barstoolsports.com or on twitter @muntbarstool​

 

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By munt posted January 29th, 2015 at 5:30 PM

The Official Trailer For “Ted 2″ Has Dropped, Insert Poop Joke Here

Never thought Mark Walhberg would be subject himself to be covered in semen, but here we are.

The original Ted was decent. A real humdinger full of fart and dick quips. Naturally, the second effort looks like more of the same thing just with less Mila Kunis and more Morgan Freeman. Which I guess is a wash. There’s no way it’ll even come close to sniffing the taint of the original, but it’ll be worth a watch or 6. Also, I never thought Mark Walhberg would be subject himself to be covered in semen, but here we are.

I don’t remember when and where, but I remember a critic’s write up for the first movie as: “If a fart could masturbate, the result would be Ted”. Pulitzer Prize worthy reviewing right there.

By smitty posted January 29th, 2015 at 4:50 PM

Philly Mag Writer Calls For The End Of The Wing Bowl, Compares People Who Attend To Ray Rice

Two main questions: Who do you think you are and what gives you the right?

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Scenes from recent Wing Bowls. Photos (clockwise from top left): Sportsradio 94WIP; Alejandro A. Alvarez/Daily News; Associated Press

Philly Mag – The problem with Wing Bowl is the gross misogyny that’s overtaken the event — an event promoted by the same folks at WIP who were so (rightly) outraged at the NFL and commissioner Roger Goodell over their handling of ex-Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice’s domestic violence case. There is a connection between what Rice did in that casino elevator and what happens at Wing Bowl. And if the culture doesn’t change, this year’s Wing Bowl should be the last…

…In attendance at last year’s Wing Bowl was Ronnie Polaneczky, the columnist for the Daily News and a friend of mine. Ronnie — a wife and the mother of a college-age daughter — roamed the crowd for a firsthand look at the behavior on display. By the end of the morning, she’d gotten smacked on the ass to the tune of “Lookin’ good, babe!,” witnessed what may have been a public sex act, and watched a pair of young ladies get crowd-shamed into rubbing their bare chests against each other, then get groped by the men nearby…

…Perhaps it’s unfair to draw a straight line between chanting “Show your tits” and punching a woman in the face and dragging her unconscious body out of an elevator. But does anyone imagine that the guy who felt free to butt-slap Ronnie — a stranger, in public — would, after Wing Bowl, be less inclined to smack his girlfriend or wife around?

Allllllright. Let’s take a step back here cowboy. This article was written last week but was just brought to my attention recently. Two main questions: Who do you think you are and what gives you the right?

First off, of course the Wing Bowl is a festival full of degenerates. I’m not going to deny that. It’s a drunken mayhem filled 20K+ miserable people who took the day off of work to drink at 4am on a weekday. But are you going to tell me because of a couple of frisky assholes that every single person who attends should be designated as a lowlife wife beater? Fuck. Off. I suppose anyone who carries beads at Mardi Gras deserves to be a registered sexual offender for life, too. Better shut down the St. Patrick’s Day parades in Boston, Chicago and Scranton because a couple scumbags decided to cross the line. I’m not saying it’s right, but come on. Each person should be responsible and held accountable for their own actions. Generalizing THOUSANDS of people like this is pure dick “reporting”. The same kind of jackass who claims every Eagles fan is scum because a few drunks threw a couple snowballs at an even drunker Santa 50 years ago.

We covered Wing Bowl last year all freaking night through the actual event. We will be there tomorrow doing the same thing. And if it’s truly that bad in your eyes, there’s a very simple solution: Don’t go. This is America. You have a choice.

Between this and getting race fatigued by The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore last week I’m spent with trying to be logical. Give me a show so I can take easy street, sell out and become a talking pompous fuck, CNN/Foxnews/MSNBC. This rational thing takes too much time and effort.

PS – Does Mick Foley know what he’s signed up for as this year’s special guest? Cause it definitely ain’t feminism.

By smitty posted January 29th, 2015 at 4:15 PM

From Sea To Shining Sea: Americans Ate 9 BILLION Burgers Last Year

Land of the free, home of the brave.

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GrubStreet – Despite several reasons to assume otherwise, American hamburgers and the associated, jacked-up price of beef patties had a terrific 2014. According to new market research from NPD Group, restaurants sold 9 billion burgers last year, or 30 million more than 2013. This happened despite the price of beef catapulting to record highs in the last 12 months, and a general slowdown of traffic through hamburger-centric fast-food chains compared to their industry peers

Good LORD. Land of the free, home of the brave. Even so, that’s still not that bad if you think about it. There’s roughly 316 million people living in America (excluding, according to FoxNews projections, a trilion and 1 illegal immigrants residing in about 25 vans). So if you do the math that’s an average of…pops up computer calculator…forgets how many zeros are in a billion…twice…28 burgers per human. Sure, there are people like my vegan bitch of a cousin who knock the average down, but my yearly O/U has to hover around 100 alone. My passion for acquiring heart disease by the age of 30 isn’t alone in this great nation. Shit, if it didn’t close on Sunday I’d live inside 500 Degrees on drunken weekends. With a little luck, we’ll all be living in a fat man’s Wall-E existence sooner than later.

By smitty posted January 29th, 2015 at 3:25 PM

Apparently Working At The Philadelphia FD Is Just Like One Big Giant F Shack

Philly firefighters just slingin' their hoses around like it's going out of style.

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InquirerMore than a dozen members of the Philadelphia Fire Department, including supervisors, have been accused of having sex with a female paramedic while on duty, according to a well-placed source in the Nutter administration. The sex acts were consensual and are alleged to have been committed in Fire Department facilities and vehicles, the source said. The female paramedic who made the allegations has declined to speak to law enforcement, so the issue is being handled as personnel matter by the Fire Department, the source said, calling the it “a terrible embarrassment” to the department.

Firefighters work ridiculous hours, they save peoples’ lives, and they hardly ever get the amount of respect and credit they deserve. They don’t have the luxury of working from home with women all over them 24/7 like some of us do. So they just have to make do with what they’ve got, and what they’ve got is some firetrucks and a super slutty paramedic who isn’t afraid to take down a firepole or 12 on the job. As long as fires are getting put out, I don’t necessarily see where the problem is here. I get that a lot of people don’t like to have sex the night before a big game, but if my house is on fire, I’d much rather have a firefighter come in with a clear head after he just got his rocks off save me than some dude who’s been backed up for weeks and can’t think straight. If you think about it, the female paramedic here is really nothing short of a hero. I mean who knows how many lives she is personally responsible for saving since the guys putting out the fire didn’t get distracted by every single pair of tits they saw while battling the flames. Probably millions, if not dozens.

Also, this is great recruitment material to bring in new firefighters to the rankings. Just a real win-win for everyone in the city, but some how some way I’m sure these firefighters will get suspended or some bullshit. Do the right thing, Nutter, and let the boys be boys.

P.S. – For crosbysbrain.

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By jordie posted January 29th, 2015 at 2:25 PM

The Fieldhouse Is The Spot To Drink And Eat Away Our Philly Misery This Super Bowl Sunday

$35 all the beer and wings you can handle. And my gullet is going to bankrupt the place.

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fieldhouse

The Fieldhouse is opening up their hearts to our misery to watch the Patriots or Seahawks win another Super Bowl. $35 unlimited brews and wings. Not gonna find a better deal than that around town. Plus there will be a stellar crowd at one of Philly’s best sports bars on 12th and Filbert. No reason to not come, say hi and get plastered with your fellow depressed Philadelphians.

Contact Maura at mpease@publichouseusa.com and mention Barstool to lock up your spots. BY PENNSYLVANIA LAW YOU HAVE TO RESERVE A TABLE TO GET IN ON THE OPEN BAR. So that’s kind of important. Also, be an American. It’s the Super Bowl. $35 all the beer and wings you can handle. And my gullet is going to bankrupt the place. No reason not to do it.

By smitty posted January 29th, 2015 at 2:00 PM

Psychotic Man Gets Naked In GMC Dealership, Promptly Receives A Tazing Into The Next Dimension

There's no way in hell he should still be breathing let alone continuing to yell "Where my bitches at? Woo, Woo Woo!".

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There’s a little bit of bush, so click here to watch the NSFW video

Just another scumbag car dealership trying to screw over the working man. Can’t a guy get his keys and bitches without resorting to taking his pants off? Maybe if he gave the salesman a high five a la David Puddy he wouldn’t have had to flip shit over the “Finder’s Fee”. And for those of you think the police used excessive force, think again. Those cops put 1.21 Gigawatts straight into that heart and he was still flopping around at full strength. There’s no way in hell he should have been breathing let alone continuing to yell “Where my bitches at? Woo, Woo Woo!”. Full blown elephant tranquilizer wouldn’t have slowed that man down.

A good show. However, that display will still have to bow down to the best tazing video ever seen in this, or any lifetime. The GOAT.

By smitty posted January 29th, 2015 at 1:30 PM

Klay Thompson’s Monster 37-Point Quarter Gets The NBA Jam Treatment

If you were to tell me that performance was from a video game instead of real life I still would've had trouble believing you.

13-13. 9-9 from behind the arc. Nobody outside of Reggie Miller vs the Knicks or AI hopped up on purple drank deserved to be NBA Jam’d more. If you were to tell me that performance was from a video game instead of real life I still would’ve had trouble believing you. Shit, nobody puts up those kind of numbers on the Sega without the help of Game Genie. They might not be able to sustain this hotness for a playoff run, but Klay Thompson teamed up with Stephen Curry is outright frightening. #FromTheWaffleHouse

Never Forget: Team Barstool Philly, 2-0. #RIPMo

By smitty posted January 29th, 2015 at 12:15 PM
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