I Can’t Stop Watching Otis The Dog Truck Stick Life

CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKERS!

CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKERS! Don’t understand what’s going on here. Don’t care. All I know is Otis is running shit on two legs better than Terrell Davis in his prime. I would be hauling ass too if I were owned by some psycho who laughed like that. Would rather have a laugh that sounds like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer.

By smitty posted July 26th, 2014 at 12:30 PM

MISSION SOMEWHAT ACCOMPLISHED: Rihanna Is Now Following Joel Embiid On Twitter

And so it continues.
rihanna

If you want it, go and get it. For crying out loud.

Your standard romance. First comes love, then comes the Twitter follow, then the baby in the baby carriage. Maybe a STD or 12 thrown in there along the way. Hopefully Embiid can stick a few in the hoop before he sticks his dick in crazy. Let whoever the hell Class Villain is flattop the batshit out of her first.

#WeAllFromAfrica

By smitty posted July 25th, 2014 at 7:05 PM

Literally Everything Else From Your Childhood Taking You Into The Weekend

Trapper Keepers. Street Sharks. DONKEYLIPS!

Trapper Keepers. Street Sharks. DONKEYLIPS! RIP, because there’s no chance that actor’s still alive. If he is, he has to deal with no longer being Donkeylips. If you can call that living.

Let’s have a weekend.

By smitty posted July 25th, 2014 at 5:20 PM

Friday Afternoon GIF City

Almost the end.
giffable

 

Our new feature on Friday afternoons during the summer. If you’re stuck in front of the computer at this point you deserve the most mindless, enjoyable material to help pass the time. So here it is: 10 or so random GIFS from the Internets to put the mind at ease for a couple minutes. Simple as that. Could be hot, funny, painful, new, old – whatever works. Enjoy.

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By smitty posted July 25th, 2014 at 4:20 PM

With All This Domestic Violence And Respecting Women Talk, Let’s All Turn To The Wise Bill Burr For Guidence

Time to take a step back to learn and maybe laugh.
marriage

I’m not AT ALL saying the now Mrs. Rice deserved to get cold cocked in an AC elevator or that rape is a joke. Not at all. But shit’s been getting pretty nuts out there. In times like these where everyone has an opinion and swear it’s right, we need to take a step back to learn and maybe laugh. We need a hero to break out of the custody of the PC Police to take charge and tell it like it is.

For that, we turn to the Ginger and his words:

There is NO reason to hit a woman:

Epidemic of Gold Digging Whores:

BONUS: Motherhood:

By smitty posted July 25th, 2014 at 3:30 PM

LeSean McCoy Establishing Authority In Camp By Rolling Up In A Rolls Royce Right Into A Handicapped Spot

Nobody puts Shady in the corner!
shady

Nobody puts Shady in the corner! This is how you establish dominance off the field for on the field. Drive up in a car worth more than a decade’s worth of average household income and show the disabled who’s boss.

I’m not naive enough to think LeSean McCoy is actually dumb enough to park his luxury vehicle in a handicapped spot – I hope. But if he rushes for 2,000 yards and brings a Lombardi Trophy to this city he can park wherever he wants. That includes his balls on my girlfriend’s face. Not that he would need my, or her, permission as it currently stands.

By smitty posted July 25th, 2014 at 2:25 PM

Kudos To Whoever Pencil Sketched Ulysses S. Grant Into Mr. T On The $50 Dollar Bill

Ulysses just got pitied.
dol1

SNEAKHYPE – James Charles first started doodling on dollar bills in 2010, and his doodles eventually turned into this great collection of art presented below.

Sure, Ulysses S. Grant may have led the Union to victory in the Civil War and guided our country’s Reconstruction period as a two-term President. Big whoop. Did he ever pity fools and be one of the few to knock out Rocky? Exactly. Who would you rather roll up in the bathroom and maybe exchange for goods and services every once in awhile? Actually wouldn’t mind if our currency switched to this kind of format. Spice things up a bit. Lincoln may have been one of the greatest Presidents, but Walter Sobchak is one of the greatest Americans ever. The man watched his buddies die face down in the muck so we can have the freedom to deface paper money even though I’m fairly certain it’s a federal offense. Am I wrong?

Obviously the bottoms are photoshopped, but the pencil sketches are apparently legit:

dol2

dol3

dol4

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By smitty posted July 25th, 2014 at 1:45 PM

HALLELUJAH BITCHES: Cool Pope Francis Is Officially Coming To Philly Next Year

The coolest pope in the history of popes planning on taking a little weekend vacay in the City of Brotherly Love.
coolpope

[NBC10] – Pope Francis has confirmed to Philadelphia’s archbishop that he will be coming to the city next year for the World Meeting of Families conference. The pope will attend three days of the conference — Friday, Saturday and Sunday — which is taking place from September 22 through 27, Chaput said. The trip to Philadelphia will be not only the Holy Father’s first visit to the city, but also his first time in the United States as pope. HALLELUJAH

Oh, no big deal. Just the coolest pope in the history of popes planning on taking a little weekend vacay in the City of Brotherly Love next September. I’m about the furthest thing from religious as one could be, but I’m still on board with Pope Franky. He’s the people’s pope and has done just about everything but give the green light for recreational marijuana to prove that. You wanna be gay? He can work with you on that one. Bullet proof Popemobile? That’s for suckers. Hell, just yesterday he slummed it up and ate lunch with the Vatican staff. So I’m sure the Pope is coming to Philly for whatever this “World Meeting of Families conference” is, but I also have a feeling that as long as the Eagles have a home game that Sunday, Cool Pope Francis will be at the Linc hanging out in the upper deck. And I’m sure there are plenty of people who aren’t from the area that will immediately assume Philly fans will throw snowballs at the Pope. Well to that I have two things to say. 1) It’s September, so there will be no snowballs to throw. And 2) Even if there was snow, I bet Pope Francis would openly welcome snowballs getting tossed his way because that’s the kind of guy he is.

P.S. – How about the dude with the pot leaf sticker on the back of his phone? Awesome, man. You smoke. We get it.

By jordie posted July 25th, 2014 at 12:10 PM
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