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Road Trip Gets Off To A Nice Start As The Flyers Hang 7 On The Leafs

The game should have been called the moment that both Grossman and Umberger got on the scoresheet.

flyers-leafs-win

Flyers 7, Leafs 4

Pretty shitty day for Philly sports fans yesterday as the Birds did the inevitable and completed a disastrous December meltdown. But luckily the Flyers were there to do their best to pick everyone up and potted home a touchdown’s worth of goals on the road in Toronto yesterday. Things didn’t quite get off to a great start with #FormerFlyers Joffrey Lupul and JVR getting the Leafs off to a 2-0 lead, but after a hectic 26 seconds where both teams combined for 3 goals everything started to fall into place. Let me just say one thing real quick before we look at the 3 slickest goals of the game. Anytime Old Saint Nicklas Grossman and Umberger score in the same game should count for at least an extra point or something. Or maybe the game should just be called once it happens. Either way, that box score belongs in the Bizarro Museum.

Giroux Is Absolutely Filthy


Link to gif here

Giroux and Voracek both ended the night with 4 points a piece meaning Pork Chops leads the NHL in points with 42 and G is tied for 2nd with 39. They’re 1-2 in the league in assists and just imagine next season when the Flyers have 3 players in the Top 5 in points once McDavid is on the roster. Watch the fuck out, everyone else. Ovechkin scored the goal of the night yesterday and possibly the goal of the year, but this snip from Captain Claude from that angle got it to move.

Scotty Laughton Is A Grown Ass Man

Tickle that water bottle, Scotty. Tickle that water bottle. Laughton has been playing unbelievable so far in his time up with the big boys. Pretty sure he’s the only guy on the team who I never get mad at. Not sure if it’s just because I give him a free pass here and there as a rookie, but he’s making it impossible for anyone to make a case against him staying up in the NHL. He was all over the place last night, getting up in people’s faces, bringing the energy, bringing the snipes, and bringing the Tastykakes.

When Did Simmonds Get Hands?

Slick set up from the Wayne Train and say goodnight, Mr. Jonathan Bernier. As it would turn out, Jonathan Bernier is nowhere close to being half the goalie that Nelson Mandela ever was.

Few Other Quick Points

- A couple weeks ago I had the entire 24-14-18 line in my dog house. But lately they’ve been on a nice little tear and found a way to get things going. Between Mason getting hurt, Lecavalier being a complete bum, and Berube knowing negative things about hockey, the three of these guys are very low on the Flyer’s problem list.

- Emery is a very capable back up goaltender. Now you can’t expect to give up 4 goals and have your offense bail you out with 7 of their own every game, but maybe this road trip won’t be quite as bad on my liver as it was once expected to be.

- Flyers play Winnipeg tonight at 9. There’s a slight chance we get to see Rob Zepp in between the pipes. Won’t that be fun? Also, keep an eye on Evander Kane. He may try to sneak onto the Flyers bench at some point throughout the game. Now give me some music.

By jordie posted December 21st, 2014 at 11:50 AM

RIP The 2014 Philadelphia Eagles

That's it. That's fucking it. 7-2 to 9-3 to 9-6. Unreal and unacceptable.

RIP-347-x-300

That’s it. That’s fucking it. 7-2 to 9-3 to 9-6. Unreal and unacceptable. I don’t care about injuries. Arizona is playing with their 12th string QB and is still going to the dance. T Yeah, you could put it on Parkey for shanking two relatively easy FG’s after only missing two all season. But I’m not going to. The kid doesn’t deserve that after having a hell of a year. How about instead of putting it on the rookie K’s shoulders we get a TD in the RZ off a turnover and convert a freaking 3rd and 1 on the next drive? How about Sanchez, who played an above average game overall, doesn’t throw a pick when it matters most? How about the defense gets a stop ONE TIME WHEN IT MATTERS. ONE FUCKING TIME.

It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. Cause if you can’t beat a team at home you just WHOOPED two weeks before for the division, followed by getting embarrassed by an 3-11 team, you don’t deserve to be in the playoffs.

That is all. I know Pops as well as a good percentage of Philadelphians are already dead inside and I’m not too sure if I’ll survive this night.

FUCK EVERYTHING.

By smitty posted December 20th, 2014 at 7:32 PM

Your “If We Lose This Game The Season And My Life Is Over” Eagles/Washington Live Blog

Let's take care of business then become Colts and Bears fanatics.

Week 16 Pump-Up Preview from Philadelphia Eagles on Vimeo.

Do or die. And if we fall do this 3-11 dumpster fire in the nation’s capital, we’re certainly dead. Let’s take care of business then become Colts and Bears fanatics.

By smitty posted December 20th, 2014 at 3:55 PM

Barstool Sports Week 17 Fantasy Football Podcast

@SmittyBarstool and @BalesFootball for any last minute spankings.

 
Like every week, I STRONGLY recommend listening to the Soundcloud than attempting to watch that video. Very choppy stuff. If you have any questions let us know and we’ll get back to you
 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Self explanatory by this point. Myself and Fantasy Football guru and Draftkings Pro Johnathan Bales give you our thoughts, picks and sleepers for Week 17.

Smitty’s Week 17 NFL Spanks (2-1 last week, 28-16 overall):

MIA -6.5

BAL -4.5

INDY +2.5 (MONEYLINE BITCHES)

By smitty posted December 20th, 2014 at 12:00 PM

Nick Offerman Reading The Night Before Christmas Taking You Into The Weekend

Ron Swanson and Nick Offerman may indeed be one at this point.

 

Ron Swanson and Nick Offerman may indeed be one at this point.

Let’s have a weekend. Happy freaking holidays.

By smitty posted December 19th, 2014 at 5:05 PM

VIDEO: Owner Points Gun At Dog And Says Spread ‘Em, Pup Assumes The Position

Cute. That dog respects authority more than most of the human population.

 

Cute. That dog respects authority more than most of the human population.

Hey, it’s Friday and the Holidays. We’re all in misery. Enjoy the adorable pup video and go crack open the Nog. You’ve earned it.

By smitty posted December 19th, 2014 at 4:15 PM

Friday Afternoon GIF City

About that time to give it up for the year.
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This is our brand, spanking new feature on Friday afternoons during the Holiday season. If you’re stuck in front of the computer at this point you deserve the most mindless, enjoyable material to help pass the time. So here it is: 10 or so random GIFS from the Internets to put the mind at ease for a couple minutes. Simple as that. Could be hot, funny, painful, new, old – whatever works. Enjoy.

Read the rest of this entry »

By smitty posted December 19th, 2014 at 3:35 PM

Does This Look Of A Face Of An Upper Darby Casanova Who Grabbed The Breast Of A McDonald’s Drive-Thru Worker Saying He’d “Show Her A Good Time”?

Delco, gimme two!
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Philly.com – A man treated a fast-food worker’s breast like a piece of meat at a McDonald’s drive-thru early this morning and when he was captured at a nearby bar he shamelessly admitted to his lewd act, claiming that he was “a ladies’ man,” according to police. The fast-food fondler, identified by police as Michael Jenkins, allegedly walked up to the drive-thru window at the McDonald’s on Lansdowne Avenue and State Road with a buddy around 12:30 a.m. and told the 31-year-old woman working the window that he would come back at 6 a.m. and “‘show her a good time,’” said Upper Darby Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood. Officers found the super-sized greaseball at the bar and asked him if he had recently assaulted a drive-thru worker. “He says ‘Yeah, I’m a ladies’ man and that girl over there wants me,’” according to Chitwood.

Delco, give me two! Upper Darby is batting a cool 1,000 this week after that fine young gentleman decided to fire up a doobie and take a shit in the middle of a police station. Par for the Delco course.

Regardless, they say true love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend. Hence why it’s not surprising Michael Jenkins pulls out all the stops in his quest to find the one. Not too sure if attacking the tits of a drive-thru worker is what we call Shooting For The Stars, but maybe one day he’ll find someone to share that crack pipe with. One day.

“A man treated a fast-food worker’s breast like a piece of meat…The fast-food fondler…super-sized greaseball”. ZINGS AHOY! Man oh man do we here at Barstool love wise quips about a molestation taking place in a fast food restaurant. Try harder Philly.com. That’s not a joke. You’re supposed to be a real source of journalism not some poor man’s smut blog. Seriously, try harder.

h/t Andrew

By smitty posted December 19th, 2014 at 2:45 PM
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