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Welcome Diandra from Drexel. Absolutely dominant performance put on today by Barstool Philly I must say. Top to bottom. And it all ends with Diandra as the icing on our cake. Whatup Quarter System U!
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FLORIDA – To protest a Nativity scene, a Florida man has put up a Festivus pole with beer cans at the state Capitol. Chaz Stevens admits the pole is ridiculous, but he opposes religious displays in government buildings. And if a Nativity scene is allowed, he says a Festivus pole should be as well. Festivus is a non-secular holiday. It was created in an episode of “Seinfeld” to protest the commercialism of Christmas. Pam Olsen organized the Nativity display. She told Stevens she welcomes his decision to exercise his right to free speech, but a plain aluminum pole would have been more appropriate rather than Stevens’ beer can version. A Festivus pole was also put up in the Wisconsin Capitol.
Separation of church and state baby. If you want to represent a religious scene on government property be prepared to feel the wrath. The wrath of Costanza. And for the culprit to make it out of beer cans instead of a aluminum pole makes it as regional to the Florida as it can get. If those cans weren’t a combination of straight Bud Heavies, Natural Ice’s or Billy Bears, color me shocked. Just surprised it wasn’t held up by AK-47′s with a tin at the top.
A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!!!
PS – A Barstool Holiday Festivus dinner would break YouTube records. Solid chance the Airing Of Grievances and The Feats Of Strength will ensure I’m not only fired again but possibly in prison before dessert is served.
Nice to see Ed Wade run that team to historically bad proportions…then subsequently get hired back immediately by the Phillies. Cute.
The way things are going right now the Phils may be in the same boat as the Astros sooner than later. If I hear Ruben Amaro go on the record saying the Phillies are a legit contender and site the signing of “Byrdie” (Marlon Byrd) as a major reason I’m going to pull a Milton from Office Space and burn CBP to the ground.
philly.com – During Chip Kelly’s Wednesday press conference, Eagles radio play by play man Merrill Reese noted that he had observed that the Eagles were playing the Vikings’ horn sound during practice. Reese asked Kelly if that was an effort to get the players acclimated to the crowd noise/environment in Minnesota. Chip replied, “I thought it was the horn from Anchorman, when he calls for his guys, and they were all standing right next him.”
Is there anything more this man can do? Five-game winning streaks, forward-thinking no holds barred football, and now he’s giving us Anchorman references to further cement himself as the coolest coach in the league. Love this man so damned much. Hilarious to see how stupid all of the people who doubted him look now (especially you, Dan Graziano). Imagine how the city will embrace this guy after he walks into Dallas and takes all their cocktail fruit. It’s gonna be insane. A Super Bowl and Chip could shoot the Mayor in the face and he’d have thousands ready to step up and take the charge for him.
No Peterson AND no horn sound advantage? Ya done, Minnesota. Ya done!
I first thought that maybe Yeezus had come out too late to be nominated. As I was scrolling down the complete list of nominees, it took until page two until I found anything involving Kanye’s latest album. Two nominations. TWO. For the best reviewed album of the year. One for Rap Album Of The Year, an award Kanye has been nominated for five times and won four (only losing to himself), and Best Rap Song, where “New Slaves” is battling a record on which 2 Chainz yells “I LOVE BAD BITCHES THAT’S MY FUCKIN PROBLEM”. The man’s been nominated for Album of the Year three times, and even though Bono once proclaimed “Kanye, you’re next” after winning Album of the Year with a “generally favorably reviewed” U2 album…Yeezy’s time never came. And it probably will never come. Because the Grammys are scared shitless of Kanye West.
Whether you agree Yeezus is the best album of the year or not, when one of the most famous artists on the planet releases one of the best reviewed albums of the year, it generally gets nominated. The Grammys haven’t even had the guts to NOMINATE Kanye for his last two solo albums, arguably the best two works of his career. The snub of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was well publicized and deservingly so, especially since the show had the gall to nominate albums by Bruno Mars and Rihanna. Yet where was Kanye’s name, a man with 21 awards and none of them against a white artist? Right down there where they like him — Best Rap Album.
It would be one thing if the Grammys were completely meaningless, but the truth is they dictate pop trends, show casual music fans who to hold in high regard, and inevitably decide how music history is written. “Underground” acts get buried by the passing of time. A Grammy right now may be a joke, but in 50 or so years it’ll be these awards that people will point to to confirm the tastes and sounds of the time. Sadly right now our music history is currently being decided by some faceless Vince McMahon entity writing ridiculous WWE-like scripts where Taylor Swift albums are in the same stratosphere as Good Kid M.A.A.D. City and Random Access Memories.
The Grammys fear Kanye West because he’s a wildcard and it’s in their best financial interests to play it safe. Kanye’s first single on the Yeezus album featured the lyric “fuck you and your corporation”, he has rushed the stage of a televised music awards show before, and the dude obviously lacks a common-sense filter. The Grammys want no part of Kanye on the mainstage with any chance of a freak-out, and have relegated him to the JV team hoping that he once again doesn’t show. Sure maybe he said last February that “the Grammys can suck my dick,” but as the music industry crumbles and the well dries up, wouldn’t it be in the Grammys’ best interest to cash in on the highest TV ratings they possibly can? Nominating an emotional and possibly volatile Kanye West is not only great for ratings but the obvious and correct thing to do.
It won’t happen, though. They’re too afraid.
breitbart – A 17-year-old girl reportedly addicted to the flesh eating drug known as Krokodil, shocked doctors in Puerto Vallarta recently when she showed up with “severe lacerations” to her genitalia. Jose Sotero Ruiz Hernandez, an official of the National Migration Institute said, “There’s a case that we had to see at the Social Security: the girl consuming this drug, had an infection in her private parts,” which Hernandez said wasn’t caused from sexual intercourse.” Her genitals had already begun “rotting.”
I’ll ask if it nobody else has the guts to: what does she mean by “INTO” her vagina? Does that mean into a labia lip or like full-on busting it open and sticking a needle in there? Makes a huge difference with how people view the story.
Not that it makes a world of difference to the girl. If this chick’s dugout looks anything like that rotted Zombie foot in the video then she’s out of the sex game forever. Rotted vagina is a career-ending injury. Can’t hop back in the sex game while oozing strange drug fluids and scraping scales off your clit. It’s unfortunate but sounds to me like she’ll finish out the rest of her career in the sex minors with the AIDS patients and paraplegic obese.
BTW I googled “paraplegic sex” after writing that last sentence and I’ll just leave this here.
onelastline – Pope Francis worked as a bouncer at a nightclub in his younger days. The establishment he worked for was a bar-come-nightclub in Buenos Aires, where he was employed during his days as a student. Pope Francis is definitely the most colorful Pope in recent memory, and certainly has somewhat of a checkered past. He is also known to be a big tango enthusiast and even had a dance partner/girlfriend before he became a holy man. On top of all that, Pope Francis is also known to be a closet charity giver, following claims that he sneaked out of the Vatican at night to give money to poor people in Rome. Whichever way you look at it, the current Pope is certainly “out there” when it comes to his approach to religion. He has made the headlines more than once for inviting homeless people to dine with him, calling worshippers on the phone, and even washing the feet of young criminals. Not to mention the numerous selfies and Tweets he has posted as he tries to encourage the Catholic church to reach out to young people via social media.
TIME – He took the name of a humble saint and then called for a church of healing. The first non-European pope in 1,200 years is poised to transform a place that measures change by the century
LOVE the cool Pope. Seems like the perfect combination of regular guy and divine humanitarian. One second he’s discussing his love of opera music and the next he’s admitting to being a bouncer at a club. The guy’s out here washing criminal feet and whipping a 1984 Renault around Rome and saying atheists can get into heaven. “Who cares what drunk guys I beat up when I was younger? I’m the Pope now! You think Argentina landing in a World Cup group with Iran and Bosnia just HAPPENS?.”
Also, there’s little that makes me laugh as hard as religious rich guys upset with the Pope for talking about charity too much. Rich guys hate this Pope. The Bible literally says “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God”. What’s so hard to understand? Jesus doesn’t want a bunch of rich guys ruining Heaven for everybody. Cool Pope’s just tellin it how it is.
JPMorgan Chase has filed a U.S. patent application for a computerized payment system that resembles the virtual currency Bitcoin, the Financial Times reports.
As more people make their purchases online, banks, credit card companies and tech companies are all hoping to capitalize on the quickly expanding business of mobile and online payments. Bitcoin rose this year as the most prominent virtual cash system, storing its users’ cash in computer files. The price of Bitcoin shares soared to over $1,240 the day after Thanksgiving (a 9,000% gain for the year), and its new virtual currency may one day challenge the traditional payment systems of big credit card companies and banks.
JPMorgan’s patent application (which was updated from a 1999 version) says that its new payment system will compete with with credit and debit cards for online transactions. It mimics a few features from BitCoin: JPMorgan’s system involves creating “virtual cash” that will sit in an online wallet. Each transaction will be saved in a public record of transactions, similar to Bitcoin’s “blockchain.”
For all the nonsense that I know about music and sports and politics, that knowledge is equally balanced out by how little I know about money. I know nothing. My portfolio is only diversified by how many different entities I owe money to. Now I’m reading that the only financial thing I’m positive about is going to be destroyed by the world’s third largest corporation? Guess it’s poverty forever for maurice after all.
The only thing I knew for sure was that bitcoins = rich. Was all set on taking my FanDuel winnings this week and maybe buying half a bitcoin just to get my foot in the door. Just so one day I can wake up and check my bitcoin value app and notice that my 1/2 bitcoin is now worth a million dollars or something. But nope — dream over. Future ruined. The smart guys who know money and have all of it are set to crash the bitcoin internet party.
Fun while it lasted.