Nothing like a cartoon Cowboy ready to take it up the tailpipe to get you ready. #DallasWeek, baby. That’s all that needs to be said.
Jordan Matthews is on pace to shatter every Eagles rookie WR record. Suck on a fat one, Jaccpot.
The last time the Eagles met the Cowboys on Thanksgiving: THE BOUNTY BOWL. (Can’t load it on this shit site but it’s a MUST WATCH FOR ANY EAGLES FAN).
Lotta trash talk coming out of the Eagles locker room this week. I don’t know whether I love it or hate it. Won’t decide till 7pm tomorrow.
Acho is out, that means it’s Casey Matthews with backup 1st round pick Marcus Smith playing at ILB this week. May God have mercy on us all. We’ll see how much these guys pick up the shield. Would’ve loved to see a Demeco vs. Demarco battle.
RGIII to the Eagles? Not now, people. Dallas week.
DON’T CUT HUFF (at least this week). The first Eagles rookie to ever win the award:
— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) November 26, 2014
Mychal K Instagramming dat hoe:
Fun’s over. Now let’s get it done.
EGG HARBOR TOWNSHIP, N.J. (CBS) — According to police, employees at the Wonder Years Day Care Center on Ocean Heights Avenue in Egg Harbor Township said they received a phone call Tuesday from a male stating that he was going to harm the children at the day care. The suspect, identified by police as 31-year-old Matthew Poole, was taken into custody at his residence. Poole was charged with Terroristic Threats and Causing a False Public Alarm.
Look at that one. Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it. And that’s gotta be 31-years-old in Neanderthal years. The Phillies can’t catch a freaking break. On the field the team is an absolute abortion. Off the diamond one of the few people willing to wear Phils gear are hairy terrorists harassing day cares and haven’t closed their mouths since the womb. Thanks, Rubes.
Still probably a better person than the average Mets fan.
Dallas Stars Rookie Defenseman Scores From Outside The Blue Line With A Knuckle-Puck Against Edmonton
It may not have had the same theatrical set up as a good old fashioned Russ Tyler knuckle puck. And sure, Stars’ rookie defenseman John Klingberg may not have stopped to take the extra 3 seconds to say, “It’s Knuckle Puck Time”. But I’ll take whatever I can get in this day and age. Would it be sliiiightly more impressive if this happened against a more worthy opponent like any team from the ECHL rather than the Edmonton Oilers? Yeah, maybe. But if you score a goal in the NHL with a knuckle puck, you automatically sky rocket up my all-time list of favorite players. So welcome aboard, Klingberg. You can take a seat right there behind Pavel Bure.
Still the greatest goal of all time, fictional or non-fictional.
I’m usually the type of guy that worries about the Eagles all week and then 15 minutes before kickoff I’m dead sure they’ll find a way to win. I’ll pick up my phone, check out my bookie’s lines, and I’m in. Sometimes I’m not so sure so I sit it out or find another game I can use to flush my money. But what about those rare games when there’s no shot? Or what about the ones when the stakes are so high that a loss might trigger a fleeting thought about the most convenient way to kill ourselves? Is there a way that we as fans can soften the blow when our favorite teams implode in big games?
I’ve never done it. I’ve never picked up the phone and said, “No shot today. Cowboys laying 3? Let’s pound them. Big.” The idea of privately thinking to yourself in a room full of fans, “Yeah, we’re about to lose this game and my life is now meaningless, but I nailed this bet. We’re going to Sizzler” seems dirty. It is dirty. Obviously, I bring this up because of Thursday’s showdown in Dallas. First place is on the line. National television. Thanksgiving. Gratuitous shots of Jerry Jones acting like a first-rate jerkoff. There’s a lot at stake here.
I’m pretty sure the Eagles can win this game. I watched a mediocre Giants offense that literally has one good player move the ball effectively against a pretty weak Dallas defense for the majority of Sunday night’s game. I think about LeSean McCoy building momentum on his 130 yards against the Titans, Mark Sanchez spreading the ball around to a number of weapons, and the Eagles stout run defense keeping DeMarco Murray in check as the Connor Barwin and Trent Cole make Tony Romo uncomfortable in the pocket. Sounds simple enough.
Then…I think about Casey Matthews trying to stay with Jason Witten, or Cary Williams and Bradley Fletcher keeping the Dallas wideouts contained. And then I think about Thanksgiving 2012 when I had the Jets in the first half (fuck me, right?) because I assumed all of America was on New England in that game (they were). And I think about how that bet actually looked good before Mark Sanchez almost stuffed an NFL football into the asshole of Jets guard Brandon Moore in the second quarter which sparked a total meltdown and a 35-3 Patriots halftime lead.
I want to puff my chest out and be like, “Nah, no way. We’ve got this one.” Because we might. But I’m not sure I can handle to getting cranked by Dallas on Thanksgiving. Some of you (all of you) are probably calling me a pussy (I am) for even suggesting this. Totally bitch move. No doubt. But I’m also sure that 80% percent of you are shameful degenerate gamblers, and that most of you have probably done this at some point. So I have to put this out there in advance of Thursday. is it ever okay to go against your team on a bet? And if so, how much money are talking about to take the sting out of a potential loss? Not that it’s going to happen, or anything.
[Editor's Note: NO, it's never fucking acceptable. You ride and die both emotionally and financially. I also think the Eagles fall short tomorrow (win in two weeks at home, though) but I would NEVER bet against them. Shit, I don't even draft players that play against the Birds in Draftkings. Hope for the best but expect the worst - That's the Philadelphia sports fan motto. Also, Rizzo is our Phillies, In-Depth Eagles, Sometimes Life Guy - Example.]
Of course he did. I haven’t blogged about Carlton since the second episode like 8 weeks ago because A) My masculinity was buckling before my eyes and 2) We all knew the outcome already. This contest was over before it began. There was only one thing left to do and that’s whip out The Carlton to deal the deal. It’s 2014 and Carlton is officially more pimp than Will. What a time to be alive. Uncle Phil would be proud. #RIP
I’m no expert of the arts, but I’d say this guy flat out owns every dance floor he touches. I don’t even like dance one bit and this clip made it move.
Like every week, I STRONGLY recommend listening to the Soundcloud than attempting to watch that video. Very choppy stuff. If you have any questions let us know and we’ll get back to you
It’s self explanatory by this point. Myself and Fantasy Football guru and Draftkings Pro Johnathan Bales give you our thoughts, picks and sleepers for this Thanksgiving and Sunday. IN JUSTIN HUNTER WE BUST.
Any last minute fantasy questions? Shoot them at us @SmittyBarstool or @BalesFootball. Also, Jonathan has a daily fantasy sports strategy book geared specifically to helping you profit on DraftKings. Very, very worth it. CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THE GOODS.
Smitty’s NFL Spanks (3-0 last week [WE'RE BACK, BABY], 22-13 overall)