Barstool Philly Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Bunny

bun

 
Introducing Bunny from Temple. Beautiful. Always nice to see some Owl heat come our way.

Keep the smokes a flowin’, send all nominations to Phillytips@barstoolsports.com

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By smitty posted October 22nd, 2014 at 5:35 PM

Woman Attempts To Put Out Fire So Of Course She Instead Extinguishes Herself In The Face

 

WOMEN! I was giddy before the video even began. You could feel it in the air something great was about to happen and man oh man did she not disappoint. Once, twice, thrice to the face. Most of the time that sort of treatment would be pixilated in Japan. Zero to Bukaki in 10 seconds.

By smitty posted October 22nd, 2014 at 5:00 PM

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man Called ‘Hammer’ Selling ‘Ebola’ Out Of A Ramada Inn Hotel Room?

ebola

NJ – A man called “Hammer” sold “Ebola” out of a New Jersey hotel room, according to police. Toms River Police arrested a 47-year-old New Jersey man Monday after finding more than 600 packets of heroin, many of them branded “Ebola,” along with crack cocaine inside a room at the Ramada Inn along Route 9. Toms River Police executed a search warrant on Barnabas “Hammer” Davis’ hotel room after the Lakewood Township Police Department’s Street Crimes Unit tipped them off to alleged drug dealing out of rear suites at the hotel. Investigators found 633 wax folds containing heroin and about 40 grams of crack cocaine in Davis’ possession, according to police. Officials said the heroin had a variety of “trademark” stamps, including the brand name “Ebola.”

Gotta strike while the iron is hot, and Ebola is officially “in”. People are making 500K selling Ebola Vitiman C Tablets for goodness sake. Hammer is making up for that failed GED by being business savvy. That’s all. Regardless, I’d rather drink a gallon of Ebola than ingest whatever smack Hammer’s packing in that hotel room. Whatever’s manifesting in the bed sheets of a Jersey Ramada Inn is 100000x deadlier.

h/t Scott

By smitty posted October 22nd, 2014 at 4:10 PM

Nikki Benz Now Officially Has All Of My Votes To Become The Next Mayor Of Toronto

Sorry, BC. Ever since Nikki Benz threw her tits into this race a few months ago, we’ve all known that it would be an uphill battle for Rob Ford. I tried holding out as long as possible but after watching this video there’s just no possible way anyone can’t not be on board the Nikki Benz train. While I’d never consider myself much of an expert in campaign management, I think it’s next to impossible that she doesn’t earn at least 99% of the vote on October 27th. Mainly because it’s only horny old dudes who actually go out to vote for Mayoral elections (assuming that’s a fact). Imagine watching a debate between Nikki Benz and all the other jabroni candidates when Nikki breaks out the line about how she realized she should be the Mayor of Toronto while she was getting pounded in the ass by a 300 lb truck driver. That’s literally all she has to say and then promptly drop the mic. You think anyone cares anymore about the actual politics involved in the race? Hell no. We’ve got butt-stuff in the equation now. The politics can wait, I just need you to find me that video of our soon Mayor-to-be getting railed out on the interstate. Sure, Rob Ford was a rock star. He was a man of the people. But once “The Mayor Next Door” commercials are on the air, the entire population of Toronto will be doing boners and if there’s one thing I know about politics, it’s that it’s fueled by boners.

NSFWish after the jump.

 

 

 

 

 

nikkibenz2 nikkibenz nikkibenz3 nikkibenz3 nikkibenz5 nikkibenz7 nikkibenz6

 

By jordie posted October 22nd, 2014 at 3:20 PM

Your Mid-Week Eagles Fix With Some Birds Material That Will Leave You Hungry For More

birds
 
5-1 going into Tempe to face the 5-1 Arizona Cardinals. Actually a slow week for Birds material…and I kind of like it. Akin to sleeping beast just waiting to be awakened. Let’s do it.
 

Extended cut of Chip, Foles and the artist formely known as Sanchize mic’d up vs the Giants.

Dorenbos kicked it with Mel Gibson but here’s what the other guys did during the bye week.

Chip explains why he visited the injured Victor Cruz after the beatdown of the Giants. Spoiler Alert: It’s because he’s a fucking class act.

Nick Foles does a Q&A with Maxim. No dick talk.

The boys are back:
 


 
And here’s Bradley Cooper repping an Eagles visor with some tips on The Tonight Show.
 

 
That’s it. Bring me Sunday.

By smitty posted October 22nd, 2014 at 2:25 PM

Barstool Philly Sports Podcast – The Time Smitty “Made A Living” Playing Online Poker Professionally For Two Years

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

And there you have it. Everything is spelled out in the Podcast, but basically it’s a modern day Greek freaking Tragedy. If you think I’m bluffing it’s pretty much all laid out in the statistics. The two names I played under the most were Smitty1581 for Pokerstars and MonkeyFunMan (WTF was I thinking with that one?) on Fulltilt, but in reality I was playing under my girlfriend’s and friend’s accounts, too, and try to get the most out of deposit bonuses and such. That doesn’t even include Bodog/AP/UB and other sites.

Oh, and after you listened to myself explain how online poker basically ruined 3+ years of my life, be sure to sign up for the 2nd Annual Barstool Poker Tournament tonight (MUST PLAY IN JERSEY). It’ll be the first time I’m back to the online felt since 2011. Damn right I expect to win the comeback player of the life award.

By smitty posted October 22nd, 2014 at 1:40 PM

Guess That Rack

car

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By smitty posted October 22nd, 2014 at 1:05 PM

So Eagles Long Snapper Jon Dorenbos Hung Out With Mel Gibson Over The Bye Week

mel

doren

 
Philly – There isn’t a prize for coolest bye week story, but if there were, Jon Dorenbos would probably win it. He has become friends with a big-time movie producer named Steve Chasman, who is from the area and remains an ardent Philadelphia fan. Dorenbos was at Chasman’s house in Los Angeles for dinner, doing card tricks and all his usual schtick when in walks Mel Gibson, who lives up the road in Malibu. “He was really cool and has this great voice,” Dorenbos said. “I’d describe him as polite and humble. He and I were doing card tricks together for the kids that were there. We had this thing going for about 15 minutes where he would guess the card every time. And, yeah, he’s a really good-looking guy in person.”
 
Cool story, Jon. Hopefully Mel rubbed some aggression off so the next punt returner can’t make it 2 steps before he’s decapitated by #46.

So what’s the point of the blog? 1) To post pictures of Dorenbos’ wife, of course.The man has to be a magician to out kick his coverage this much with his wife. She’s probably put in a trance so deep even Peter from Office Space would feel bad. And, B) Revisit the glorious Mel Gibson tapes. There are somethings that need to be revisited once every so often to appreciate the greatness that it once was. Caddyshack. The Tourettes Guy. Lindsay Lohan’s face and tits circa Mean Girls era before the coke and cock got to her. Just something that you remember and see that instantly puts a smile on your face.

We’ll mix and match them in between. A sort of Tits and Mugshots post, if you will.

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By smitty posted October 22nd, 2014 at 12:30 PM
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