usa todayCould three-on-three basketball be coming to the Olympics? It will if FIBA, the international governing body, has its way. Secretary-general Patrick Baumann said Saturday that his group planned to propose it to be played as early as the 2016 Rio Games. Three-on-three, the game played in driveways, on playgrounds and around the country during the annual Gus Macker tournaments, debuted in the 2010 Youth Olympic Games. FIBA wants to create a comprehensive ranking system that would determine the best three-on-three teams in the world. FIBA already has a three-on-three world tour and world championship, but Baumann welcomed all three-on-three tournaments, such as Gus Macker and Hoop It Up, into the fold as long as those tournaments adhered to FIBA rules, including the registration of players in a database to chart wins and losses. “Like volleyball has beach volleyball, swimming has synchronized swimming, we want three-on-three to be part of it,” Baumann said. After rankings determine the top teams worldwide, Baumann said, each nation would be responsible for creating a format to determine which team it would send to the Olympics. Baumann reasoned that three-on-three would allow more countries to experience the Olympics and help FIBA expand basketball’s global popularity. He said smaller basketball nations regularly send teams to the three-on-three world championship. “We’ve chosen three-on-three as being one way of bringing that community into the Games,” he said. “For us, this is also really about growing the mass of players on a grass-roots basis. We want them to be part of the family and hopefully have new talents for the game.”

So do you want a bunch of Hoop-It-Up guys to play the Somoan basketball team or would you rather see LeBron James’ nuts in their face as the proper way of “bringing that community into the Games”? Because it sounds like you want it both ways and it simply doesn’t work like that. I played Hoop-It-Up when I was in like 8th grade. Our team name was like “Crazy Skillz” or some dumb shit and we got beat in the second round by a group of foreigners. NON-AMERICANS.  Herein lies the problem.

USA Basketball doesn’t like to lose. If we’re going to send one (or more) teams overseas (it’s in Rio so…downseas? Acrossland?) to compete in the Olympic games you’d better believe it’s going to in some way involve Kevin Durant making a mockery out of every nation that owns a basketball in front of a very excited United States audience.  Three-on-three ball featuring NBA players?  Hell yeah three-on-three ball featuring NBA players.

maurice’s Team USA Gold-Silver-Bronze medal Sweep 3-On-3 Dream Teams 2016 (of the future!):

Lebron James/Kevin Durant/Anthony Davis – GOLD
No contest. Bron runs point, KD hits every spot-up jumper he takes, and the Brow collects lob pass after lob pass.

Chris Paul/Carmelo Anthony/Dwight Howard – SILVER
Second Banana Team Numero Dos comes close in the Final matchup, but can’t defend against the Durant/Lebron combo.

Russell Westbrook/Kyrie Irving/Blake Griffin/Kevin Love – BRONZE
Future Russell Westbrook is more controlled, and Kevin Love’s size as well as his outside shooting ability gives them enough to complete the sweep. UPDATE: How could I forget Uncle Drew?

The Gasol brothers will also probably have died from Spanish AIDS or something so there’s no worrying about them.  U-S-A!  U-S-A!