So Sony had this big presentation to roll out and introduce their newest system (although I’m sure some Sony PR person would correct me and let me know that the PS4 is in fact much more than a “system” but a comprehensive way to interact with blah blah blah), and spent the better part of two hours balancing the delicate combination of showcasing the hardware’s capabilities and entertaining us with lengthy speeches from socially deficient nerds and/or Japanese dudes who barely speak English but will confidently pretend they’re fluent. All in all it was a pretty enjoyable way to piss a few hours of some of the best years of my life down the drain.

But one thing stuck with me — where on God’s green jalopy is the damned system? If you weren’t ready to roll out what it looks like then you probably should have held off on the 2-hour long Playstation 4 blowjob you forced millions of bored people waiting for the Flyers game to sit though. Nobody would have cared if this happened next month after you got pictures of the final system instead. Especially since the only thing you showed was the controller and that thing has looked the same since Parappa was rappin his little 2D ass off. Give us something, Sony.