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What’s up Mo?

I don’t know if you’ve retired the ask a black blogger bit but was hoping you could help me out with some perspective here.

I broke up with a long term girlfriend a couple of months ago and started seeing a black girl recently. Her body is insane (she’s a stripper) and she’s chill as hell. She just wants to smoke blunts and dance for me, it’s like the best thing ever, but I’m trying to stay level and understand she’s a stripper and that this could be over any second.

Anyway, when I first met her I asked her if her hair was real. It looks perfect, dark and with bangs so I just wondered about its legitimacy out loud. She said it was real. I saw her a couple of weeks later; was running her head at one point and I felt her head it became apparent her hair was fake. She got kind of awkward and said something like you knew this wasn’t my real hair, come on now.

I’m a bit concerned, however, about what lies beneath? Is she bald or what’s going on under there? Why would she feel the need to lie about her hair? Do a lot of black girls wear wigs?

Thanks man.

First and most importantly, do yourself a favor and never ever fuck with this chick’s weave ever again. Black girls don’t play that shit. Don’t run your hands through her hair, don’t tousle/mess up her hair thinking it’s cute, and DEFINITELY don’t pull her hair if/when you’re hitting it from behind. If you don’t leave this blog with anything else leave it knowing that. You said her hair looked great and you were fooled so obviously it’s expensive. Way more expensive than you think. Yes — even more than that. A lot of vertically-folded crumply stripper dollars were spent on her hair.

Secondly, go rent/download/illegally download Chris Rock’s documentary Good Hair. Literally all of your questions will be answered within 40 minutes. You’ll know everything.

But let me give you the quick skinny. There are a couple of ways black girls (and an ever-increasing number of white girls let me tell you) do fake hair. Your girl probably has it sewn in, which is the most expensive I believe. What this means is her real hair is first braided down to her scalp, and a hair technician (you heard me) will actually sew in layers of real Indian hair to those braids. This is what the majority of weave-wearing celebs do (i.e. Beyonce, Kourtney Kardashian, Vanessa Hudgens, etc). It’s the one that looks the most real, lasts the longest, and the one that invariably costs the most money.

Another option which is more popular among us normies and the non-rich is gluing in tracks of hair. Similar to the sewing process only it’s with glue, can be done at home, and looks like shit after a couple weeks of use. Ever see a girl with a fucked up lump in her hair for no reason? Yeah — that’s a lazy/broke broad with a bad glued in weave.

Lastly there’s the chance the broad is just wearing a full-on wig, which doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s bald but she would definitely have to braid down her hair for it to look real.

Now I know all of this can seem scary, but don’t worry she obviously doesn’t expect you to know all this shit since you’re a white guy. It would be weird for you to know it probably. Weaves are still very popular in the black community, although more and more black chicks are doing their hair natural these days. But, like I mentioned earlier, keep your eyes open for the scores of white/Latina chicks using tracks to make their shit look longer in the back than it really is.

Good luck and wrap it up.