DM – An unidentified 49ers fan was seriously injured when he was stabbed near Candlestick Park just minutes after kickoff of the day’s game against the New York Giants. Identified only as a 27-year-old Elk Grove, California, resident, the man was walking to the game with a group of fellow 49ers fans at 1.35 pm when two other men approached and started an argument. One of the men then pulled a knife and stabbed the victim in the torso at the stadium in San Francisco. Police have not named the suspects, but noted on was a 30-year-old San Francisco man and the other was a 22-year-old Daly City man, also 49ers fans. The victim was taken by ambulance to the hospital with life-threatening injuries but is expected to survive.

Don’t want to sound like a traitor to the movement or anything because if you know me you know I’m 100% committed to ruining other cities’ reputations by causing mayhem in their stadiums, but maybe we’ve gone too far with the Bay area. Seems like every month there’s a new story of some Niners fan getting stabbed by a bunch of Raiders fans or some Raiders fans getting into a gang war because somebody’s shirt wasn’t black enough. It’s time to go somewhere new or else the national media is going to catch on, guys.

There’s no way ESPN will start running specials about the horrifying violence that regularly takes place at California sporting events, and even less of a chance of some original-thinking journalist will use statistics to prove that noted “bad” fanbases like those in Philly don’t come close to the actual number of violent acts put up by Cali. Might as well pack up and move the Stab Train on down the road to Arizona or head back east and see if we can’t make Indy fans look bad. San Francisco and Oakland are tapped out.