Reader Email

Hey Mo,

Not sure if you saw this or not, but Grantland had a NCAA style tournament of Chappelle Show sketches. I’ll save you the time, and let you know that the Wayne Brady sketch makes it to the championship, knocking off both the Prince and Rick James sketches. I cant seem to wrap my head around this. Also, the Player Haters Ball somehow doesn’t make it to the Elite 8, but that is besides the point. Could it be that black people (the author of the article appears to be black) REALLY do love Wayne Brady that much?

Thanks for your help on this,

Zach (White Guy)

Hey Zach, thanks for the email. No need to tell me you’re a white guy — your name is Zach. Secret is out, bruh. But yes, I did see this and actually tweeted about it a bit yesterday. Didn’t see the winners until today, and now that I’ve had a chance to really think it over I almost feel like it’s my responsibility to clean up Grantland’s mess. The Tupac skit didn’t make it out of the first round. What!?

So here are my official rankings. The correct rankings. Keep in mind that I was a huge Chappelle fan before the show ever existed, and that my friends and I would regularly quote Killin Them Softly way before the days of the Rick James sketch or Lil Jon screaming “WHAT!?” My fanhood is legit. And I’m pretty sure I watched every episode the night they premiered, so my opinion in this matter should be taken as gospel.

THE RANKINGS! (And yes, there are a bunch that aren’t here that you may feel are deserving. I probably love those skits, too.)

10. Kneehigh Park

Life lesson: Believing that if you never give up and you work hard that all your dreams will come true is the gayest shit I’ve ever heard.
Best quote: “That’s why…I say…fuck it.”

9. Prince

Life lesson: Don’t judge a book by its cover. Also, Prince can ball.
Best quote: “Game…blouses.”

8. Tron’s Law & Order

Life lesson: The criminal justice system is heavily skewed in favor of those with money and influence.
Best quote: “Then his wife threw her titties in my hand. It was weird, your honor.” “You GRABBED her titties…I SAW you!”

7. Black Bush

Life lesson: George W. Bush was a Thug Life President.
Best quote: “Oil? Who said anything about oil? Bitch you cookin’?”

6. Tupac

Life lesson: Tupac is still alive; Dave Chappelle loves Asian chicks.
Best quote: “It might be doo doo!”

5. Wayne Brady

Life lesson: People, especially celebrities, aren’t always as they seem.
Best quote: “Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?”

4. Player Haters Ball

Life lesson: There are haters everywhere and there’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Best quote: “Man YOU CORNY!”

R.I.P. Patrice.

3. Clayton Bigsby

Life lesson: Judging character based solely on race makes one appear foolish.
Best quote: “I am in no way, shape, or form involved in any niggerdom!”

2. Mad Real World

Life lesson: Don’t look at her like that.
Best quote: “Katie has some big-ass tit-tays…”

1. Rick James

Life lesson: Rick James had more fun than any of us ever will.
Best quote: “I hit ya tonight…?”

Thanks to Dave for all the laughs. A legend of our generation.