CosbySweaters – If you are male and enjoy the sport of hockey, this is probably what you dream about at night. Thanks to Oklahoma native and league owner Cary Eskridge, this dream is now a reality….a reality television show. Currently in the casting stages (here you go ladies), they are planning to film a pilot which will involve chicks in bikinis on inline skates living in a mansion. I’d imagine it would be somewhat like the Bad Girls Club, but with some hockey flavor (which for me is like blending the two most entertaining things this world has to offer). Quite possibly the best part of this ridiculously brilliant concept, is that having a hockey background isn’t even on the list of criteria for applicants. However, Fox Sports did mention the possibility of Ashley Van Boxmeer, daughter of John Van Boxmeer, Stanley Cup winner with the Montreal Canadiens and former assistant coach with the Los Angeles Kings.
Here’s the thing about bikini sports: you can’t just make anything into a bikini sport. Football works because it’s violent, there’s plenty of stoppage time to check out asses, and if only a couple chicks on the field have any talent it doesn’t ruin the game. On the other hand, basketball could never work because no matter how many dimes you stuff into tiny bikinis, real men can only watch 10 broads airball mid-range jumpers and travel for so long before becoming filled with rage. Bikini soccer doesn’t work for the same reason there isn’t a channel on TV with just chicks standing around in bikinis — nothing happens. But hockey…I’ve got hope for hockey. It’s got violence, possible hilarious falls, possible fights…solid idea. Would’ve been nice to see some frosty nips if they went with ice instead of in-line skates (fuck that they’re called rollerblades just like Band-Aids and Q-Tips), but you take what you can get.
Official press release here. Its title: Time is Now for Bikini Hockey.