Brace Yourself: Here Come The Nick Foles Stories

“I remember there was this one time where we were all standing around hungry after the concession stands at Arizona Stadium had already closed — literally thousands of us — when Nick gets the idea that he’s just gonna serve up a fish and loaves of bread for everybody. I was like ‘Nick, babe, you’re the best quarterback I’ve ever seen. You know this. But regardless of your angelic talents on the football field, you can’t just make fish and bread out of nowhere.’ Nick looks at me — and I’ll never forget this he says — ‘Yeah? Well check it out, coach.’ Then I look up and everybody is eating Salmon burgers right then and there. GOOD ones. Threw in diet iced teas, too. That kid is something special.”
“Oh, and there was this other time when Nick was absent from practice. Now if you know Nick Foles, you know that he’s never late for ANYTHING. So we were all a little confused but stuck to our guns and held practice without our quarterback’s magnetizing presence. But I’m upset. Not angry — one does not simply get angry with Nick since his charm will eventually diffuse those feelings — but sad that he decided not to join us that day. So I head home, and right as I open the door there’s young Nick balls deep plunging hard into my wife and daughter. No idea how he did it but he was apparently having sex with them both simultaneously. Then, right as I was about to say something, he calmly stops, puts on his clothes then walks out. Before he leaves, he places his hand on my shoulder and whispers ‘Your daughter will give birth to a perfect baby. Obey the child. He is hope.’ And that was it. Nick never brought it up again. Now my daughter has since disappeared but I’ll never forget that moment as long as I live.”


that artwork belongs in a museum. A+
that was kind of funny, mo. good job
This is hilarious. A+
This blog should be regarded as comical.
Cutler smokes reds. Foles puffs Ls.
Good blog Mo, very solid.
Not that funny
pretty damn funny Mo you jig
ahahaha laughed out loud during that blog..A+