Alert the sporting press and tell your bookie to take that 200 bucks off of CM Punk next Monday — the whole thing is fake. Yup. Apparently its been this way for decades. Purposefully cutting themselves, predetermined outcomes, announcers reading directly off a script while the TV producer shows them doing so like a jackass…all true aspects of a fake sport.

Now that we know these dudes are just reading off of scripts, how much do you think it would cost to get Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, and maybe Joey Styles to read through some make-believe matches that we wrote ourselves? You think Pres has that kinda money? I’d love to hear the sincerity in JR’s voice as he sounds off about Owen Hart’s ghost rising from the ring to challenge Linda McMahon to a ladder match.