dailynewsLos Angeles County residents voted Tuesday to require the use of condoms in pornographic films. Measure B, which was OK’d by more than 55 percent of voters, also will require the county Department of Public Health to lead inspections and enforcement efforts. Public health advocates said the measure promotes public health and the safety of actors. Opponents, including those who work in the industry, said it could chase jobs and millions of dollars out of the San Fernando Valley, famed as the nation’s porn capital. That’s because customers don’t like films with condoms, they said. Condom use on porn sets already is required under state and city laws. But those are rarely enforced, with state prosecutions based only on complaints. The prospect of a more active government role worried some in the porn industry. “The idea of allowing a government employee to come and examine our genitalia while we’re on set is atrocious,” Amber Lynn, a longtime adult film actress, said at an anti-Measure B rally Sunday in North Hollywood. She and other actors defended the porn industry’s voluntary guidelines, under which actors are tested at least monthly for HIV, gonorrhea and chlamydia. Opponents also called the measure a restriction on free expression.

And thus ends Los Angeles’ multi-decade run as the nation’s capital of pornography. Masturbating to condom porn is like cheating on your diet with low-carb chips and a Coke Zero. Not even worth it. Porn is all about sex fantasies and sex fantasies aren’t about being safe. Nobody wants to add the step of awkwardly shuffling in quiet, still darkness to get a condom out the drawyer to their sex dreams. Nobody. Condoms and porn don’t mix. And thanks to the efforts of these anti-AIDS groups LA can bet their lives that their city will be a porn afterthought by this time next year.

Who are these protesters and who told them that porn stars are responsible for AIDS in this country? Seems like out of everybody in America porn stars may actually be some of the least likely people to spread the disease since they’re constantly being tested. Do these morons actually believe that people don’t wear condoms because they’re somehow inspired by the actors they see in their porn…because that may be the most absurd conclusion ever drawn in the history of conclusions. If it helps any, let me break it down for you protesters: men not wearing condoms has nothing to do with the condoms in porn. You could double-bag every dick on camera from now until eternity and men still would try not to wear condoms. Why? Because they make sex feel less good. Simple as that. Maybe if you spent your money, energy, and time into working with science to build a new contraceptive instead of mindlessly chanting at rallies to make condom companies more money you could actually make an impact on AIDS in America.

New Sex City Possibles!

Las Vegas, NV – No brainer.
Atlantic City, NJ – Chris Christie — *Governor* — will totally back bareback.
Miami, FL – Porno in the city where the heat is on, all night on the beach til the break of dawn.
Denver, CO – Weed’s legal now. Coloradans don’t give no fucks. The floodgates are open.
Philadelphia, PA – Ben Franklin is the grandfather of porn. Plus all the sports depression around here guarantees years of loyal male customers jerking their sorrows away.