Chip Kelly Finalizes (Weirdly Huge) Coaching Staff

AP – The Philadelphia Eagles completed new coach Chip Kelly’s staff on Friday, adding Dave Fipp as special teams coordinator.
The rest of the staff includes: Greg Austin (assistant offensive line); Jerry Azzinaro (defensive line/assistant head coach); Bob Bicknell (wide receivers); Erik Chinander (assistant defensive line); Mike Dawson (defensive quality control); Matt Harper (assistant special teams); Josh Hingst (strength and conditioning); Shaun Huls (sports science coordinator); Bill Lazor (quarterbacks); John Lovett (defensive backs); Todd Lyght (assistant defensive backs); Bill McGovern (outside linebackers); Rick Minter (inside linebackers); Justin Peelle (assistant tight ends); Duce Staley (running backs); Jeff Stoutland (offensive line); Press Taylor (offensive quality control); and Ted Williams (tight ends).
Earlier, Kelly announced Pat Shurmur and Bill Davis as offensive and defensive coordinators, respectively.
Pretty big staff you got there, Chip. Separate inside and outside linebacking coaches? Offensive quality control? SPORTS SCIENCE COORDINATOR?? Yeah it’s cool that the guy used to train Navy SEALs but…it just seems like a lot of cooks in the kitchen.
Strange too that the Associated Press would publish an incomplete story. Here’s the rest of the list:
Dick Vermeil (Head of Nostalgia/Sobbing), Brian Dawkins (Doggone Inspirational Speaker), Wanya from Boyz II Men (Falsetto Specialist), Demetress Bell (Human Garbage), Actual Garbage (Assistant to Human Garbage), Charlie Kelly (Magnets), Michael Nutter (Rappers Delight Coordinator), Angelo Cataldi (Coach Kelly’s Philadelphia Catch Phrase Authenticity Director), LeSean McCoy’s Baby Mother (Spot-Blower / Herpes Treatment), Donovan McNabb (Soup).

But who’s the Wildcard?
“Donovan McNabb (Soup)” funniest thing you said in years
The additional list is hilarious. Charlie Kelly (Magnets)and Donovan McNabb (Soup)are fucking perfect.
Most college programs even have an outside linebackers coach and an inside linebackers coach. This isn’t unheard of.
How is the staff weirdly huge? Every coaching staff consists of these parts dipshit.
Duce Staley only got the RB Coach job because Anthony Toney wasn’t available.
The assistant to Human Garbage should be Freddie Mitchell