Chip, buddy, nobody cares that you’re not very “Philly”. It’s fine. Why would we expect you to be? “Yo, Philly”? You’re not Rocky Balboa from South Philadelphia who thinks it’s called southpaw because of South Camden. You’re a well-traveled laid back dude from New England who coached in Oregon. Eat organic edamame out of a lime green Nike bowl while staring out at some otters. That’s some Oregon shit, right? What I mean is — do you.

Pretending to like and understand Wing Bowl is condescending and more retarded than cold-weather Super Bowls. I’m from here and the shit doesn’t make sense. Grown men getting drunk before sunrise to stare creepily at a bunch of strippers while a group of fat guys shovel cold loose-skinned wings into their face? Don’t pretend like you like and/or enjoy this.

Just be you…and if you end up scoring a shitload of points all the better. But the more times you namedrop “WingBowl”, say “Yo”, and otherwise continue this whole phony Philadelphian act, you set yourself up to look even dumber if you should fail.