You didn’t know drinking THREE GALLONS of Coca Cola a day could kill you? “It’s just a soft drink, just like drinking water?” You’ve gotta be out of your diabetic mind to even speak a phrase that certifiably insane. Could quite literally be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. No, soda is not just like water. That’s why they’re two separate things. One’s soda and the other’s water. Soda has water IN it, but I wouldn’t want to over complicate things for you.

Did your 3 gallon a day dead partner ever once check out that white rectangle on the back of the bottle? The one marked “Nutrition Facts”? If she did, she would have noticed that cola has a near infinite amount of sugar in it. That’s how it works. You take water, mix it with some brown, and keep pouring sugar in it until it’s nice and grainy. BAM! Cola!

Let me do some quick math. If a 12oz can of Coke has 39 grams of sugar and there’s 128 ounces in a gallon this dumb lady was drinking 1,248 grams a sugar a day. JUST from Coke. The moral of this story? This lady was an idiot.