Congressional CALM Act Bans Loud-Ass TV Commercials Starting Today, If Not Then Here’s The Number To Snitch
Nobody likes their commercials at twice the volume of their regular TV, and while congress has been unable to save millions of American jobs, stabilize the economy, or provide sufficient services to all of its countrymen, at LEAST they got advertisers to chill with the volume spikes. And as small and sad as this change is — it should give us a little hope that other things can improve, too.
That being said, if I hear ONE ADVERTISEMENT that’s louder than my show I’m gonna be calling that 888-TELL-FCC number with the swiftness. Normally I hate the FCC since I like exposed nipples and cursing, but in this case they actually got it right. I’ll stool pigeon all day for those motherfuckers. Might be the first snitching campaign I can 100% get behind. “Yeah, FCC? maurice. Tide commercial…channel 10. My decibel reader marks a clear 5% increase. Do what you must.”
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!