SSBoynton Beach police say a Lantana woman tried to pawn off jewelry from where she worked to help her regain her repossessed car. J.C. Penney jewelry section manager, Chelsey Adele Edwards, 25, was arrested Friday and faces charges of stolen property, larceny and fraud. It began when a loss prevention officer at J.C. Penney in the Boynton Beach Mall told police Edwards came to him with a men’s necklace, ring, and bracelet in a jewelry bag that Edwards said she found in the store safe, according to an arrest report. After the loss prevention officer told Edwards to put the items back in the safe so he could investigate it later, police say he received a tip that she had pawned off the jewelry instead of putting the jewelry back. When the officer checked the safe, only the necklace was inside. A search by police found Edwards had pawned the other items, valued at about $1,034, at a West Palm Beach business for $500, according to the report.

One hundred percent chance she’s hiding jewelry in her asshole.