ArbroathMembers of a North Devon WI were left embarrassed after a number of them had dressed up as pirates for a talk by a former sea captain who has been held hostage by Somali pirates for several weeks. Members of Parkham WI had thought they were being given a talk about piracy at their meeting on April 11 but they soon realised their mistake when Captain Colin Darch arrived to give them a talk about his time being captured by pirates in 2008. Captain Darch said he found the whole thing amusing and more like a scene from the Pirates of Penzance than anything like he had experienced while he being held hostage. He said: “Of course I didn’t take offence or mind. It was more like the Pirates of Penzance. They were lovely ladies. They made me judge who was the best dressed which was a difficult choice. In the end I decided to choose the one with who had a fluffy parrot on her shoulder. Of course there weren’t any parrots near the real pirates.”

This story to me was a rollercoaster ride of blogworthiness. At first it was blogworthy because, really, how funny is laughing at a dumb women’s group dressing up as cartoon pirates to greet a man who probably should have lost his life as a victim of water terrorism? But then you read on and realize the ladies were told the speech was to be on “piracy in general” which unless you’re being a stickler asshole pretty much clears them from from looking dumb. Who thinks “Somali Pirates” when they read the word “Piracy”? Nobody. These broads were just playing corny dress-up like middle-aged broads often do.

But then you read the quote from this poor pirate hostage: “They made me judge who was the best dressed.” WORD? So even after all of these old bags realized they made the mistake of mocking the near-death experience of a hostage by dressing up like Spongebob Pirates, they still made him judge their stupid-ass costume contest? Only a women’s group could be so self-righteous to force a hostage they just disrespected to do some meaningless shit like that.

Hope Captain Darch at least got one of these old bitties to walk his plank.