God knows why somebody in Philly would send this picture to the chive and not to me, but whatever I won’t hold any grudges. Oh did I say I won’t hold any grudges? I meant to say that there’s no way this gets this kid laid. Maybe, MAYBE if this was an actual armored chainmail that he ordered and painted it could lead toward a couple gobbies or whatever, but not made of out beer tabs. Yeah, your BOYS love it and I’m a little jealous, but that doesn’t mean a real human female with a working brain and vagina will give you access because of this thing. It’s more along the lines of something you wear to a beer pong tourney or what the best MLB The Show player in your house dons after shutouts. I don’t see a single pussy magnet in there. AND you had to piece this together slowly like an old woman doing crochet? AND you’re not sending stuff to Barstool Philly first? Verdict: not laid.

But as always you guys are the judge.

Vote 1 for Storming the Pussy Castle and 10 for Chastity Vest.
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Thanks Matt and horsey b. (best name ever)