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telegraphLazio have threatened legal action against anyone who questions the age of their 17-year-old Cameroonian player Joseph Minala. The Serie A club have even been forced to release his birth certificate, which they claim is “absolutely legitimate”, following a report by Senagalese media that he is in fact 41. Minala himself has also been questioned on social media after he posted pictures showing him looking much older than his teenage years suggest. In a statement, Lazio said: “We reserve the right to take action against those responsible for the protection of the good name of the company and the footballer.” The midfielder also issued a statement via the club’s website denying he actually told a Senagalese website – senego.net – that he is 41. He said: “I have read the alleged statements posted on the website senego.net in which it says I confessed my real age which was different to what was stated in my [official] documents. “They are false statements that have been attributed to me by people who do not know.”

Yep.

I believe him, though. Although everything about Joseph Minala’s face goes against nature’s very own law of “black don’t crack”, this isn’t the first time a young athlete has looked like a much older man. Exhibit A:

lebron younggreg oden

LeBron James looks like he just got done playing a pickup game for child support and water bill money. Greg Oden = Bill Russell + a box of Just For Men. It’s a little suspicious since Joe Minala didn’t grow up in Ohio like Bron and Oden, but as you can see chronic oldface is a condition that has stricken many a athlete.

Besides, look at the average life expectancy for Cameroonians.

cameroon life expectancy

If Joseph Minala was really 41, why would he have time for games? He’d be too busy caring for grandchildren and preparing his will to play soccer with a bunch of teenagers.