DailyLocalA New Jersey man has been arrested after allegedly stealing nearly 50 pairs of women’s underwear, according to police. Jeffrey Lloyd, 44, of Bridgeton, N.J., reportedly stole the panties from apartment complexes in both West and East Goshen townships, police said. The most recent incident that led to Lloyd’s arrest occurred on Friday at about 5:30 p.m. in West Goshen when Goshen Manor complex managers saw a man who they believed looked like a previous suspect that was caught on camera. Lloyd was interviewed and 12 pairs of underwear were allegedly found on his person at the time of his arrest. Police said the underwear was reportedly taken from a laundry room in Goshen Manor earlier that evening. The first incident that caught police attention was on Nov. 17 at Waterview Apartments in East Goshen when a woman reported the theft of about 26 panties from washing machines in the building, police said. According to authorities, surveillance cameras at the complex caught images of Lloyd, but he could not be identified at the time. On Dec. 26, a female victim at Goshen Manor reported having about 20 pairs of underwear stolen between September and December from her laundry.

Admittedly this headline is a little misleading…Jeffrey Lloyd did do the majority of his panty theft in bulk. It would be a whole ‘nother thing if Lloyd — who looks like a member of our planet’s future mixed superrace — was going after these things one-by-one. That’s a lot worse, right?

A couple things stand out to me here. One, how funny was that moment they caught him?

“We’ve had reports of someone stealing women’s underwear.”
“Really? That’s strange I was just doing laundry–”
“What’s that bulging out of your pocket, sir?”
“This…this is…”
[panties fall onto floor]
“Are these YOUR panties, sir?”
“What panties?”

Like I’m 100% sure the phrase “What panties?” was said by Jeffrey Lloyd at some point in his questioning. Then, whoops, out fall 12 multicolored thongs onto the floor. The other weird thing had to be the day he did his large-scale raid and stole panties from every chick in the laundromat. I bet all those bitches evil-eyed one another for at least a solid half hour before somebody spoke up and they all realized they’d been raided.

Keep sniffin’, Jeff.