DM – A 71-year-old Connecticut woman has been arrested for prostitution after an undercover cop says he struck a deal with her for ‘sexual acts’ at a Homewood Suites hotel. Sygun Liebhart allegedly placed an ad on backpage.com under the escort section under the alias ‘Lola,’ according to police reports. An officer on the East Central Narcotics Task Force contacted Liebhart arranging for a hotel rendezvous, where she was later arrested. Another backpage advertisement listed earlier in January claimed the septuagenarian hooker was only 60, and was both ‘well preserved’ and ‘all natural.’ The ad contained a phone number with instructions that texts or emails would not be accepted, and that appointments could only be made after 8 p.m. In yet another advertisement, she described herself as a ‘truly mature escort with over 25 years experience in delivering a symphony of luxury and sensual delight to discriminating professional gentlemen both younger and older who can afford. T he best and who prefer their women a bit older but a lot better.’ You would likely enjoy her if you could ‘savor the charms of maturity and submit yourself to sensuous abandon in the arms of a genuine Cougar.’

All things considered the old bird doesn’t look too bad. After taking into consideration the high mileage and amount of shear abuse put on the old girl after her many years of service. Hooker years are like dog years. So if Sygun Liebhart has been turning tricks for 50 years or so, that means her body’s real age is 234 years old. And I’ll tell you what — this is without question the hottest 234 year-old woman I’ve ever seen.

Obviously the hardest part of doing business with a grandma hooker is communication. No texts or emails? No doubt this old piece just lounges in a tub full of Epsom salts waiting for her Flintstones bird phone to squawk.

“Symphony of luxury and sexual delight”? Yeah I’m gonna steal that one.