philly.comA MOTHER and daughter who tried to game the system on the Market-Frankford El Monday morning ended up leaving behind their most prized possession – a baby. The two adults had a single one-day convenience pass, Redfern said. The pass allows one person to take eight rides on SEPTA on a given day, but the women thought they’d found a way to avoid paying full fare. “The grandma thought the mother was going to bring the baby through the gate for strollers and wheelchairs and the mom thought grandma was taking the baby back with her,” Redfern said. Instead, mom got on the train and grandma headed for the 56th Street Station, leaving the baby in a stroller near the cashier’s booth, Redfern said. The cashier took the baby, who is younger than 1, inside the booth to keep her warm, Redfern said. When the mother and grandmother were together at the next station, they realized neither had the baby. Redfern said the women notified SEPTA police and came back to the 60th Street Station, where they were reunited with the child. Although they violated convenience-pass rules, Redfern said the duo would not face charges. “We normally would have cited the people who were involved in the fare evasion, but given the traumatic experience they had gone through and because they were so visibly upset, we did not cite them in this case,” she said.

See, this is exactly why I never understood these mothers drowning their kids in the tub or leaving them the trunk of a car wrapped in duck tape. It’s a BABY. You can literally leave this thing anywhere and it can’t find its way back. A legless dog would have an easier time finding its way back home than a human baby ever could. Hell, the dog’s probably got a nametag and everything. Suffocating your child because of postpartum depression? That’s just overkill.

Simply leave it in the subway and never turn back. When someone asks you what happened to your kid…I dunno…just punch ‘em in the face or something. Pretty solid chance they don’t ask again after that. And now you’re both baby and murder trial free getting high on the stoop like you used to before that condomless asshole stole your innocence. Easy as that.