Arbroath – A thief who preyed on the gay community in Soho for more than a decade has been banned from every public toilet in central London. Charles Omishore, 32, pick-pocketed men while engaging in sexual activity in bars, public toilets and the rose garden in Hyde Park. Westminster Magistrates’ Court granted an ASBO banning him from the West End, a central part of Camden and any purpose-built public toilet in the whole of Westminster or Camden for the next five years. Westminster Council’s cabinet member for community protection, Cllr Nickie Aiken, said: “We suspect Omishore has been getting away with this for so long because his victims have been reluctant to come forward and report attacks and thefts. A crime is a crime, and victims should feel they are able to report it, whatever the circumstances.”

Criminal mastermind. And trust me, I use that phrase a lot.

Robbing dudes then gay-shaming them into never going to the cops is as brilliant a 21st century crime scheme as you can have. Getting off and getting paid at the same time. Then just as the saliva begins to dry on Closet Dad #1′s junk, he realizes his iPhone and wallet are gone and is too ashamed to go to the cops. Nobody wants to have to explain to a cop what a “blumkin” is and why they were in a men’s room with a gay thief instead of at home with their wife and children. Queer crime genius.