examinerTomorrow, a dog, name unknown, will be put to death at an overcrowded animal control in Jackson, Tenn., after his owner surrendered him there because he believes that his dog is “gay.” According to the prior owner, the dog was seen “hunched over,” another male dog, therefore, in this owner’s mind, the dog must be gay. The former owner apparently does not know that “hunched over, aka humping behavior” is typically a sign of dominance in dogs, rather than something to signify a dog’s sexual orientation. Kennel: “Don’t let this gorgeous dog die bc his owner is ignorant of normal dog behavior! He’s in kennel 10L and he WILL be put down tomorrow bc there is no room at the inn! they (shelter) open at 9 a.m. and he will die by 1 p.m. if not adopted as he was an owner surrender. Adoption fee is 38.00 and that only includes a voucher for a rabies shot. He looks to be a pit/american bulldog mix.”

Damn, it’s hard out here for a gay dog. Just when you think “it gets better”, your owner throws you in the clink to get gassed the second he catches you “dominating” another dog. Madness. They catch you with your paw limp for one second and they’re already prepared to kill you.

It’s almost as bad for gay dogs out here as it is for gay Africans. Sure many African nations have been murdering actual human people for being gay for decades now…but this is an American dog we’re talking about! We’ve gotta stand up and do what’s right. Can’t have some Tennessee homofidophobe taking away his pup’s right to Life, liberty, and the pursuit of big red doggie dicks in his butt. Those rights were given to this dog by his creator. This is the land of the free.

Do what’s right, America. For the dog, I mean.