TSGMeet Caleb Grotberg. The Portland, Oregon man is facing an array of criminal charges after he allegedly assaulted his girlfriend early yesterday and “choked her with his dread-locked hair,” according to police. Grotberg, 32, was busted after cops responded to a domestic disturbance call around 2:30 AM Monday. The victim was transported to a local hospital for treatment of what police described as “numerous, non-life-threatening injuries.” Pictured in the above mug shot, Grotberg was booked into the Multnomah County Jail on kidnapping, assault, menacing, strangulation, and domestic violence charges. Grotberg is scheduled to be arraigned today.

What was he supposed to use, his hands? The guy’s not a monster.

Society is always talking shit on white people with dreadlocks, but I’ll tell you right now that I love ‘em. Friendly, usually docile, often times have weed on them…good people. Besides occasionally smelling like dirt-flavored incense or their insistence on listening to jam bands, I’ve had very little problem with my Caucasian dreaded brethren. Hell, I bet this is the first time in history a white guy with dreads has been locked up on non-drug charges.

Look at those blue eyes and tell me he’s guilty. You can’t! This guy is “Menacing”? Jah have mercy.

PS – Grotberg? Wonder if his Bubbe lets him puff the chalice on the Sabbath.