SSA Palm Coast man is charged with child neglect after sheriff’s deputies said he left a pit bull to baby-sit a 10-month-old while he went out drinking. James Irvine, 41, was arrested about 12:30 a.m. Saturday. According to investigators, the baby’s mother left Irvine in charge while she went to work. The woman told investigators when she got home, Irvine was trying to get in the garage door and admitted he’d been at a bar. Officials said Irvine told the baby’s mother the baby wasn’t alone, because the pit bull was watching him. The dog was sitting outside the room, the door was shut and the baby was crying.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have any children and can’t really understand that secret gay bond between parents and their kid, but all of these stories about people leaving their babies in cars or having their pit bull keep an eye out while they went to the bar don’t seem like that big of a deal to me. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s not like the baby is going to spontaneously explode simply because there wasn’t another human watching its every movement. Reminds me of those people who freak out over having candles lit and leaving the house. It’s a CANDLE. Last time I checked they don’t get up and start laying little mini fires everywhere as soon as you turn your back.

So James left to get a drink — and guess what — nothing happened. The baby started crying, sure, but that thing would have been crying anyway. Oh but maurice what if he rolls onto his stomach and suffocates? Well what do you think the pit bull is there for? Dog opens the door, climbs in the crib, and flips the little struggle-breathing bastard onto his back. Problem solved. People need to stop being so careful.