ArbroathPeople are being urged to be vigilant after dozens of cooked cocktail sausages spiked with nails were found in an area popular with dog walkers. Some 40 sausages were found in Llwynu Lane, Abergavenny, Monmouthshire, on 4 January. Each had eight or nine nails embedded in them. It is understood dogs were being targeted and warnings have been sent to owners in the area from vets and neighbourhood watch teams. Gwent Police urged people to be alert.

Well, not imaginable. Not in a world with terminally-ill cancer kids and plus-size strippers. But pretty damn fucked up.

My initial reaction is — why? I’m not even a dog person and I still find even the idea of this repulsing. Dogs are the most loyal, kind-hearted creatures out there. This person is upset about owners not cleaning up? I mean really, how many piles of dog shit does someone have to step in to get to the point of sausage sabotage?

The person responsible better pray they’re never caught. People love dogs more than they love people, and the second this guy is captured he’ll have so many nails shoved in his asshole he’ll be shitting spiked sausages for months.