DM – Facebook has launched the first ‘couples pages’ allowing people to chronicle their relationship on the site. They bring together every event attended together, every picture and every post onto one page. However, singletons shouldn’t feel left out – Facebook has also revealed a similar service for friends. The social networking giant says the new pages will allow users to see exactly which moments and pictures they have shared with friends on a single page. ‘Starting today, we’re introducing a new layout for friendship pages,’ said Facebook’s Arun Vijayvergiya. ‘Friendship pages combine posts, photos and events that you and another person have shared. ‘Click the gear menu at the top of a friend’s timeline to see a friendship page. ‘If you’ve listed yourself as in a relationship with someone, you can also visit facebook.com/us to see the friendship page you share with that person.’ The new pages also allow people to share their couples page, sending it to friends and family.

Couples who love each other too openly are a top five problem in society as it stands today. The list goes something like this:

Bears.
Vinegar on hoagies.
War.
Tsunamis.
Lovey-Dovey Couples.

And not even necessarily in that order.

It’s a wonder that these smug assholes are able to vomit their supposed love for one another in all of our faces without other humans of decent intelligence putting an immediate stop to it. Nobody believes you’re that much in love. Remember that time you had that weird passive-aggressive argument at your own party and made everyone so uncomfortable that nobody showed up at your next event? Remember that time nobody answered your texts when you asked the other couples to go to dinner? Yeah, that shit was on purpose. And yes, you DID look fat in that ridiculous Christmas Card you emailed to everybody (even your Jewish friends). Oh, your dog’s dressed up like a reindeer in it this year? Kill yourselves.

Couples Halloween costume AGAIN? Ketchup and Mustard!? Jesus Christ.

When’s this world ending again?