Couples who love each other too openly are a top five problem in society as it stands today. The list goes something like this:
Vinegar on hoagies.
And not even necessarily in that order.
It’s a wonder that these smug assholes are able to vomit their supposed love for one another in all of our faces without other humans of decent intelligence putting an immediate stop to it. Nobody believes you’re that much in love. Remember that time you had that weird passive-aggressive argument at your own party and made everyone so uncomfortable that nobody showed up at your next event? Remember that time nobody answered your texts when you asked the other couples to go to dinner? Yeah, that shit was on purpose. And yes, you DID look fat in that ridiculous Christmas Card you emailed to everybody (even your Jewish friends). Oh, your dog’s dressed up like a reindeer in it this year? Kill yourselves.
Couples Halloween costume AGAIN? Ketchup and Mustard!? Jesus Christ.
When’s this world ending again?