MiamiHeraldAccording to police sources, a road ranger saw a naked man chewing on another man’s face and shouted on his loud speaker for him to back away.Meanwhile, a woman also saw the incident and flagged down a police officer who was in the area. The officer, who has not been identified, approached and, seeing what was happening, also ordered the naked man to back away. When he continued the assault, the officer shot him, police sources said. The attacker failed to stop after being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.

Honestly I didn’t think the warning would be this obvious but I guess we should all be thankful. If you think I didn’t locate and identify all of the weapons in my house after reading this article you’re goddamned ridiculous. Knives — check.  Bats — check. Frying pan, iron, pointy-tip umbrella — all where they should be. I don’t own any guns but if zombiefest 2012 is about to pop off just know your boy is sufficiently strapped.

Really, if you didn’t get a little excited after reading about the possibility of a real zombie apocalypse I’m not too sure I can consider you a friend. Zombies are like hipster monsters. For a moment there after Twilight it looked like werewolves and vampires might take over, but that was just a fad on some Tamagotchi shit. Zombies are here to stay. Shawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later, and The Walking Dead taught us everything we need to know. If they’re coming from Miami they’re probably going to be a bit more jumpy from all the cocaine. Like Bernie after the music comes on. Maybe they picked up a meth habit on their way up from the south. Either way — do what you gotta do to not get your face eaten.

Oh, he was just some dude high on LSD? Well I guess that’s why black people don’t do acid .

Gruesome nsfw post-face eating pic HERE.