FoxSCOTTSDALE, Ariz. – When you think about Santa — or your Christmas card — do you think about machine guns?! If so, one place in the valley is giving you an opportunity to combine the two. The Scottsdale Gun Club is inviting people to enjoy Santa and Machine Guns. The family event allows people to take a holiday card picture with St. Nick — and a high-powered fire arm. Santa poses against a backdrop of an $80,000 Garwood minigun. Families can choose to pose with other firearms, ranging from pistols to modified AR15s. They also get a chance to test out the machine guns. “I thinks it’s going to be all in fun from those who support the second amendment and those who don’t. Whether you’re a gun advocate or not, you should have a lot of fun with it,” said gun club member Richard Jones.

First off — this may be the worst article I’ve ever read. Are you kidding me with that opening line, Fox? Did you really just end the sentence with a “!?”? Listen, I know I normally write my blogs here with little concern for spelling and punctuation, but that’s because I’m writing for Barstool. The staff at Fox should put a little bit more thought in what they publish. Shit reads like it was written by a drunk Arizona State freshman intern. “They also get a chance to test out the machine guns.” Wow — such literary flair. Calm down there, Shakespeare. Not all of us were English majors.

Anyway, this is why American businessmen still rule the world: creativity and innovation. Guns + Christmas = Profit. You add children in there and you got media attention. This dude is completely aware that throwing an AR15 in little Jimmy’s 7 year-old arms will piss off enough people to get him on the news. Plus there’s people like me who genuinely love this idea that are gonna give him money, too. You know how bad I want a picture of Santa and me back-to-back holding choppas as my Facebook profile picture now? That’s fucking Christmas.

‘Murica.