The Eagles welcome the 2-8 Carolina Panthers into Lincoln Financial tonight and the only real feeling I can nail down right now is dread. I’m completely dreading this game. Not just because it could be another backbreaking loss to a team we should otherwise beat, but because all these fucking games are nationally broadcast now and we have to deal with Steve Young breaking down how bad my team sucks for multiple hours before AND after the game. It’s…the worst. 100% dread.

So enjoy learning how hot dogs are made, motherfuckers. Hope it ruins them for you forever. I want all hot tubs cold.