Wait — hold up. It’s the year 2025 in Russia and they still have cows fucking in the middle of their roads? C’mon Putin. You know what our Super Bowl rings look like. You know what our Snowdens are capable of. Time to take the horse blinders off your countrymen’s eyes and tell them the truth about what year it is. They’re bound to figure it out anyway soon as someone learns the real alphabet instead of the one with hearts, clovers, and backwards N’s that you invented.
WASHINGTON DC, MARYLAND, VIRGINIA