DMA Kentucky high school teacher was reprimanded by her district this week for writing a politically charged statement on the class whiteboard. South Laurel County High School teacher Kendra Baker wrote, ‘You can’t be a democrat and go to heaven’ during a classroom discussion about politics after the elections. The comment was reportedly made by a student, but Baker apparently agreed with it enough to put it on the board for everyone to see. A student in the class snapped a picture of it and sent it to both the school board and the local paper the Sentinel-Echo. ‘It should not be in the classroom at all,’ said Mary Gilbert, mother of senior Chelsea Gilbert, told LEX18. ‘What happened, should not have happened… You don’t send them to school to have someone else’s opinions shoved down their throats and demand they agree with it. It’s appalling. It’s wrong.’ Gilbert said her daughter tried to defend students in the class, but was shouted down and bullied by the other students as well as being bullied by Kendra Baker. Chelsea Gilbert has refused to return to high school, opting to be home schooled instead.

Not so sure what the big controversy is all about — Democrats can’t go to heaven. It’s bible 101. Democrats are cool with gay marriage and abortions and all sorts of separation of church and state anti-biblical legislation. Had no idea them getting into heaven was even debatable.

Besides, it’s not like ANY of us are getting into heaven, really. Ever cursed your mother or father? Punishable by death / no heaven. Ever say “God dammit”? Death by stoning / no heaven. Ever wear clothing made of more than one fabric? That’s how the Pagans rock their shit, bro — no heaven. Sure you could probably repent for these sins and maybe swindle yourself past those Pearly Gates, but chances are you don’t even know a quarter of the stuff you should be asking forgiveness for. And something tells me Saint Peter isn’t one for sympathy as the dude has to have heard every excuse known to man. Probably literally.

Kendra Baker — you couldn’t have been more right if you were actually a skilled educator instead of a space-holding dummy making $35,000 a year and annoying your husband during summer vacation. You backed into the truth — but it’s still the truth. Dems can’t get in. None of us can.

PS – I suppose since she’s not really that hot and she’s not in really that much trouble that my headline is actually more perfect than I even intended.