Said no one—ever. I woke up this morning and checked the box scores from last night’s playoff games. First thing to jump out at me was that the Giants lost 9-0 and got only two hits in the process. I guessed Hunter Pence didn’t chip in given his .219 batting average in 59 regular season games with San Francisco. And I was right. Pence is a putrid 0 for 8 in two games this postseason, providing zero pop for a desperate team that took on a ridiculous amount of money and traded away quality prospects with the hopes that he could push him over the top.

Does this sound familiar to anyone out there?

You may recall his stellar 4 for 19 last postseason which included 0 extra base hits as the Phillies went down in five games against the Cardinals. He’s now hitting .148 with a brutal .355 OPS in 29 postseason plate appearances. Point is since the Phillies suck so I pretty much just wanted to point out that he sucks, his team is going to get swept, and he’s going to steal $15 million from his team next season. Start making your bobbleheads now, assholes.