JagRagThe Jag Rag is a spirit towel used to unite the fans and the players and to show the national media what kind of fans we have down here in Jacksonville. I think now is a perfect opportunity to introduce my idea of a one-of-a-kind keepsake with the new ownership and all the big changes within the organization. I have produced a product that every fan could own, and it would give this community something to celebrate. The fans would have these towels at games and swing them in the air in a positive way, then that would allow the players to have a visual of fan support adding motivation. It is also the one product that all fans could have in common, unlike a shirt or hat, that have multiple designs. They (fans) could use this while tailgating or when in the stadium. Along with promoting team spirit, this product may be used for more practical purposes such as a shade device or damp, cool towel if it had water poured over it; we all know this would be useful since the temperature can get pretty warm in the stadium. This is a unique, original product.

Jesus Christ, Jacksonville. Have you stopped trying or are you just punking the rest of the country at this point? I mean sure it was funny that you picked up Babin and we all laughed when you drafted Gabbert, but I’m not sure any of us knew things were this bad. Your fan base is so out of touch that they don’t immediately think ‘cum’ when holding something called a ‘Jag Rag’? That’s really depressing. My mental vision of Jacksonville now is just a lonely fat 45 year-old grandmother wearing a dirty Mark Brunell jersey and a fanny pack filled with cassette tapes.

Anyone who has ever been a teenager with a penis knows that a Jag Rag is a tube sock or wash cloth or some other ignorable piece of clothing used solely for the purpose of ejaculation clean-up. It’s not something you spin at a football game to give your fat lady waggle arms a workout. Gosh Jaguargs why won’t you hurry up and move to Mexico City already like you’ve done in my Madden franchise every year for the last decade?

Thanks TF