It’s Not Worth Caring About Subway’s Footlong Size Controversy Until You Read Their Absurd Official Response
J-Mac wrote about this yesterday but with the new info I had to speak up.
So here’s the thing, Subway: you’re full of shit. Almost every commercial for your footlongs feature fatass Ryan Howard or some soul patch-rocking speed skater asshole yucking it up about how fresh the ingredients are then holding their hands 12 inches apart to signify the “foot” that is the size of each of your “foot longs”. We’re not retarded. You’re the #1 fast food chain in the world and your advertisements are literally (well, not literally) everywhere. You’re the last company who should be playing the “you misunderstood our advertising” card.
Saying that “Footlong” is just a registered trademark and Subway and has nothing to do with measurement should make you feel as stupid as it makes us feel hearing it. That’s like me starting ‘maurice’s Fast Food’, offering “50-piece nuggets for .99 cents!”, then turning around and only giving one nugget per order because “50-piece nuggets” is “a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the nuggets sold in maurice’s Fast Food® Restaurants and not intended to be a numerical value.”
You guys are jokers, Subway. I’m all in on this class action suit.
where was i supposed to laugh? is Mo the new Neil?
Fuck the bread. The more important part of the story is that the company quietly reduced the meat to be included in each sandwich by 25%. Jared can suck a dick.
Is Mo the white Neil or is Neil the black Mo?
“Footlong”*
* – sometimes it’s a Hobbit foot and sometimes it’s a female Chinese gymnast foot. You paid less than $7. Get the fuck over it. – Subway
Subway is for poor people.
HAHA!!
I saw a black guy in the photo and didn’t even have to read who wrote this
How pathetic are peoples’ lives to consider this a ‘controversy’?
Place has given me the shits everytime I had to eat there. Do they rub the floor with their meat slices before they make their Crap-sandwich?
I love foot longs
They have to be 12″ long…They make 2 6″ subs from 1 bun…The controversy grows (or rather shrinks)
No need to correct/disclaim your use of “literally.” Being a professional writer, surely you knew that it is considered a janus word and is appropriate in the sense you used it. Dip shit.
wouldn’t be the first time a guy has promised 12 inches and delivered less…
The 6″ must just be a registered trademark as well and in no way refer to the actual length of the sandwich
The sub in that picture would be $15 cause its clearly quadruple meat. They Raton that shit like there’s a food shortage
mo what the fuck? Just put hot sauce on something else. problem solved.
FUCK ALL OF YOU! I wish I can afford Subway but I spend all my money on crack. My username says it all.