mumbrellaSubway Australia has responded to the controversy byclaiming that its use of the word “footlong” is not meant to refer to length. It posted on the Subway Australia Facebook page: “With regards to the size of the bread and calling it a footlong, “SUBWAY FOOTLONG” is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length.”

J-Mac wrote about this yesterday but with the new info I had to speak up.

So here’s the thing, Subway: you’re full of shit. Almost every commercial for your footlongs feature fatass Ryan Howard or some soul patch-rocking speed skater asshole yucking it up about how fresh the ingredients are then holding their hands 12 inches apart to signify the “foot” that is the size of each of your “foot longs”. We’re not retarded. You’re the #1 fast food chain in the world and your advertisements are literally (well, not literally) everywhere. You’re the last company who should be playing the “you misunderstood our advertising” card.

Saying that “Footlong” is just a registered trademark and Subway and has nothing to do with measurement should make you feel as stupid as it makes us feel hearing it. That’s like me starting ‘maurice’s Fast Food’, offering “50-piece nuggets for .99 cents!”, then turning around and only giving one nugget per order because “50-piece nuggets” is “a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the nuggets sold in maurice’s Fast Food® Restaurants and not intended to be a numerical value.”

You guys are jokers, Subway. I’m all in on this class action suit.