ABCA Pennsylvania judge sentenced an unremorseful former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky to 30-60 years in prison today for the sexual abuse of 10 boys after tearful testimony from his victims. “I’m not going to sentence you to centuries,” Judge John Cleland said at the sentencing hearing. “It makes no sense for a 68-year-old man. This sentence will put you in prison for the rest of your life.” Sandusky, 68, would be 98 at his earliest possible release date. Cleland also determined that Sandusky would be classified as a sexually violent predator, mandating that he register as a sex offender if he is ever released from prison. “The ultimate tragedy of this situation is that… you have continued to conceal the very vices that have led to your downfall,” Cleland said before handing down the sentence. “In my view that makes you dangerous. You abused the trust of those who trusted you. These are not crimes against strangers, they are much worse.

No problems here, although there’s a part of me who wants to see 98 year-old Sandusky get one last shot at freedom and screw it up by trying to grab some 11 year-old’s butt while wandering onto a local slamball court. And yes, I do predict slamball to make a huge resurgence by the year 2042.

“They can take away my life, they can make me out as a monster, they can treat me as a monster, but they can’t take away my heart,” he told [Penn State Com Radio].

FUTURE NEWS!: Nasty Nate Mortensen and several renegade members of the Aryan Hate Prison Family attacked elderly prisoner Jerry Sandusky in his cell this morning, literally ripping Sandusky’s heart from his chest. Nasty Nate, currently serving 3 life sentences, was overheard screaming “I TOLD YOU I COULD” before being tazed and subdued by jail staff.