Make no mistake: Apple people are a cult. You’re a cult. You go into clear buildings with white walls to interact with “geniuses” and give all your money to a retailer whose main power is to make electronics twice as expensive by slapping a piece of fruit on the back.

I’m not even an Apple hater — I’ve had a few iPods and an iPhone at one point. Their stuff’s just not that much better than other companies anymore. Motherfuckers are sleeping outside for the fifth version of a phone that’s no different than the middle fourth version? Some poor kid in your city didn’t eat today but you’ve gotta camp outside a Best Buy so you can play 3D racing games on your phone. You know who buys $30 games for their PHONE? Cult members.