Not sure if the other cities had this as it’s about a week old and I wasn’t here for a lot of last week. Either way, excellent work by the adult here. Every day grown-ups are forced to cater to children for absolutely no reason. Kids get to go first. Kids get to play while we work. Kids get foul balls given to them after they didn’t catch them. I’m sick of the unfair playing field and happy to see someone else is with me. Gimme that goddamn ball! I’m stronger than you! I love it, lady.

Going after a foul ball is like living in the wild west or being in that area after a tollbooth where there’s no lines on the ground yet: complete lawlessness. Anything goes. And, frankly, this chubby little girl just wasn’t woman enough to handle the situation. Important life lesson to be learned here, kid. If you have what someone bigger wants, they can always just take it from you. Been that way since monkey times. I want your ball — mine. I want your wallet — mine. I want your oil — mine. It’s the way of the world.

And really, what better way than to celebrate your victory than to high five right in that little girls’ face? BAM. Go back to your seat, chump. Survival of the fittest.