DMThat is because women are being encouraged to do their bit for the world’s most conformist state – by getting a specially approved haircut. The bizarre campaign exhorts women to choose from one of 18 officially sanctioned hairstyles chosen by communist officials eager to clamp down on western influences. … Back in 2005, North Korean state TV launched a five part series entitled ‘Let us trim our hair in accordance with Socialist lifestyle’ with the aim of promoting short back and sides for its male population. At the same time, a number of reports appeared in North Korean press and radio urging tidy hairstyles and appropriate clothing. The TV show sent out teams with hidden cameras to catch ‘rebel’ North Koreans who were breaking the North Korean strict hairstyle code. The makers of the program went so far as to name and shame those who had the audacity to get their hair cut differently. The program even claimed there were health reasons not to grow long hair including the bizarre claim that long hair would rob the brain of energy. Men should keep their hair shorter than five centimeters and have it cut every 15 days.

So…you’re telling me these are all different people with different hairstyles and the same person isn’t repeated AT ALL on this thing? You sure?

We should all feel ashamed and embarrassed. Almost every day cracking jokes about misinformation and backwards rules of the secluded communist state of North Korea, and here they discover the true reason as to why men are smarter than women. Turns out it has nothing to do with physical traits or opportunity or societal pressure and everything to do with hair length. Long hair robs the brain of its precious energy. And who mostly wears long hair? Exactly.

North Korean scientists uncovering the mysteries of the world at only a fraction of the price it costs us here in the U.S. Think about the impact a discovery like this will have on the way we teach our children! Invest billions in new educational technologies and early start programs to instill an intellectual curiosity in a child from a young age? Pssh fuck that. Just keep their hair below five centimeters and they’ll get all the brain energy they need.

PS – Are we sure this isn’t just a regular-ass haircut chart?