APSAO PAULO (AP) — Want to make your ex-girlfriend jealous? Need to show your friends you are in a serious relationship when you aren’t? A Brazilian website says it has the answer: fake girlfriends. NamoroFake.com.br says that for 40 reals ($20) it will create a fake girlfriend and post her profile on Facebook during seven days. Without revealing numbers, the website says it has “a lot” of male clients who use its services to make former girlfriends jealous and show them they are dating again. It says “all profiles are fictitious and not based on real people.” Site creator Flavio Estevam tells the G1 news website that men comprise most of his client base but “soon we will create fake boyfriends for women.” An email request to the site for more details went unanswered.

All those lies and all that deceit when all it would have taken is four Jackson’s a month to keep his imaginary girlfriend alive and fake-cancer free. What a sucker that kid is, eh? Paying God knows how much for one non-internet photo and a bunch of late-night Jesus scripture pillow talk. Total clownnose. Twenty bills a week could have secured a BRAZILIAN (probably Catholic) girl that the Irish fans would have loved.

Plus since she lives in Brazil he could’ve made up all types of elaborate sob stories. Forget a car crash, can you imagine the sympathy Manti would have gotten if his girl was assassinated in Rio during an ass-shaking competition or sprayed with bullets from a renegade favela drug cartel? That’s the kind of impossible-to-check international Smokeshow fake girlfriend murder story that takes a kid from slow, non-tackling liar to a first round draft pick.

You live and you learn, I guess. Or your fake girlfriend dies and takes your career with her.