Why couldn’t the Bernie dance have taken off like this? Nothing against my man PSY but seeing drunk people fake ride a horse isn’t nearly as entertaining as seeing them pretend to be a music-powered dead millionaire.

Dance critiques aside — Cubes is actually having a pretty big week. First he hacks Nets.com to troll the shit out of Mikhail Prokhorov, then he goes on TV and lambastes stock exchange traders like he’s the King of Money, now he’s celebrating his victories with Bud Platinums, a VIP section full of sluts, and the world’s most popular song. Not a bad week for the only cool guy in Dallas.