Marry Fuck Kill: Breakfast Sandwich Bread Options
Bagel
Croissant
English Muffin
Marry - Bagel
Fuck - Croissant
Kill - English Muffin
Louis and I got into a debate today concerning which bread options are best for breakfast sandwiches. This MFK is my chance to see which one of us is crazy. Obviously the bagel gets married. I fully expect 100% marriage on the bagel; the bagel is THE default breakfast sandwich holder. It’s perfection. Fucking the croissant because of the intangibles it brings to the (breakfast) table. Will you get flaky crumbs everywhere? Yes. Could your hands get greasy? Yes. Could it break apart in a bacon, egg, & cheese disaster? Yes. But at least the croissant is packing some unique taste qualities. What unique qualities does an English muffin have? None. Nooks and crannies taste like nothing. The English Muffin is a good look on the side with strawberry jam or something, but it’s dry as fuck. You ever bite into a English muffin Wawa Sizzli after waking up hung over? It’s like a dry sandwich on dust bread. Killed.
Vive la Croissant!
PS – Did I purposefully pick a gross English Muffin picture to skew the results? Maybe.
im surprised corn bread wasn’t in the running
wheres the KFC 99 cent chicken snackers?
philly isnt far too behind stoolala now
mo’s answers are: bagel – steal, croissant – steal, english muffin – steal
All bagels are not created equal. Dunkin Donuts bagel? Garbage. McDonalds bagel? A buttery slice of heaven.
HOW DO YOU NOT HAVE BISCUITS?
Any one of them beats NYC people putting breakfast sandwiches on a kaiser roll.
Croissant is the only answer. Bagel is good but it overpowers the taste of the egg and, more importantly, the bacon and cheese. English muffin sucks.
This is fucking stupid, post this at 9am when I actually give a shit about breakfast sandwiches. Maybe throw a dunkin donuts ad up next to it and make your self useful to the site. Anyways you have it backwards, a bagel is about as good as your second cousin, hot enough to fuck wrong enough to marry. The croissant is the smoke show trophy wife here. And nobody eats English muffins anymore, total gas station sell out sandwich.
Marry Biscuit (arent you balck mo blacks love biscuts) fuck croissant, kill everything else
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did a dude up there say dunkin bagels suck and mcdonalds bagels are from heaven? what the fuck is that about?
Croissants are for faggots.
Mo’s breakfast everyday – Kool Aid and watermelon purchased with food stamps
Come on Mo…Pop Tarts, Waffles & Wonder Bread….REPRESENT
So many racist people. Holy shit.
who the hell eats a breakfast sandwich on a biscuit? or are all you stoolies just retards that can’t read the BREAKFAST SANDWICH part of the title?
Pres’ MFK for the day just dunked on yours. That’s embarrassing.
wetbandits are you retarded? go get a breakfast sandwich on a biscuit, shit will blow your mind
Breakfast sandwich’s are only good when you have whole bread and canned spam…. umm ummm ….. = gross food from the south…
Im fuckin the bagel, look at how perfectly shaped that hole is
shut the fuck up bill ponderosa you herb
mcdonalds bacon egg and cheese on a biscuit = the best
Fucking scary that I had the exact same thoughts about fucking a croissant
Rancidpunk for the win!
Croissant all the way. The bagel is too firm, all the stuff slides out as soon as you take a bite.
the egg mcmuffin uses an english muffin so I’m marrying that…egg mcmuffin so hot right now eggmcmuffin
biscuit might be the worst fucking breakfast bread of all time. Amateur hour
Neil likes his bagel buttered up real good before he puts a sausage in it.
Bagel if you can find meat and “what not” that properly fills it. Croissants just fall apart and the last 3 bites tend to turn into a greasy, flakey ball of bullshit. Enlish Muffin is the only sure fire winner here.
Biscuit > Bagel > Croissant > Eggo Waffles > English Muffin > plain toast or kaiser roll
you know what else is killer? the ciabatta breakfast sandwiches at panera.
panera overall is slipping, but the soup and breakfast sandwiches are still legit.
You guys are fuckin’ lunatics. English Muffins are the fuckin’ bees knees. It’s sturdy, it’s tasty, hold sauce well. You guys are idiots. You don’t want the bread to be the show…it’s a roll player. You highlight the meat, cheese, and egg…not the bread. Fuckin’ rookies
portugese sweet roll…found it at a local place cash money. who the fuck is knocking biscuits??? is this real life?
You gotta get bacon egg n cheese on a bagel with cream cheese on the bagel in Boston we call it the Paul revere shits a thousand calories of deliciousness
English Muffins are only good for benedicts. Nothing else.
Bagels suck ass.
The reason NYCer’s don’t use bagels for sandwiches is because we actually know how to make them and they are too good to use on a sandwich.
new york style hard roll trumps all of these. amateur hour