Marry - Bagel
Fuck - Croissant
Kill - English Muffin
Louis and I got into a debate today concerning which bread options are best for breakfast sandwiches. This MFK is my chance to see which one of us is crazy. Obviously the bagel gets married. I fully expect 100% marriage on the bagel; the bagel is THE default breakfast sandwich holder. It’s perfection. Fucking the croissant because of the intangibles it brings to the (breakfast) table. Will you get flaky crumbs everywhere? Yes. Could your hands get greasy? Yes. Could it break apart in a bacon, egg, & cheese disaster? Yes. But at least the croissant is packing some unique taste qualities. What unique qualities does an English muffin have? None. Nooks and crannies taste like nothing. The English Muffin is a good look on the side with strawberry jam or something, but it’s dry as fuck. You ever bite into a English muffin Wawa Sizzli after waking up hung over? It’s like a dry sandwich on dust bread. Killed.
Vive la Croissant!
PS – Did I purposefully pick a gross English Muffin picture to skew the results? Maybe.