Cobie Smulders

Gwyneth Paltrow

Scarlett Johansson

Total Number of Votes: 13461

Marry - Scarlett Johansson
Fuck - Cobie Smulders
Kill - Gwyneth Paltrow

Reader Email

I’m thinking that it might be a good idea to do a Marry Fuck Kill with Scarlet Johannsen, Gwenyeth Paltrow, and Cobie. In honor of The Avengers 200.3 milion dollar opening weekend. Just an idea.


Sal, you’re right. Despite this turning into the biggest MFK blowout in history and the fact that I’ve yet to see the movie, I can’t deny writing about something that made $200 million in 2 1/2 days. Marrying Scarlett Johansson because she’s Scarlett Johansson. I know some people out there think she’s getting fat or old or isn’t as hot as advertised, but I’ve had a thing for her since her ass opened up Lost in Translation. Fucking Cobie Smulders because she’s hot and not Gwyneth Paltrow. I hate Gwyneth Paltrow with the force of 1000 suns. GP is the definition of a pretentious, uppity, entitled bitch. And I say that confidently as someone who has never and will never speak to her face-to-face. Brick to the dome.