Marry Fuck Kill: The Avengers
Cobie Smulders
Gwyneth Paltrow
Scarlett Johansson
Marry - Scarlett Johansson
Fuck - Cobie Smulders
Kill - Gwyneth Paltrow
Reader Email
I’m thinking that it might be a good idea to do a Marry Fuck Kill with Scarlet Johannsen, Gwenyeth Paltrow, and Cobie. In honor of The Avengers 200.3 milion dollar opening weekend. Just an idea.
-Sal
Sal, you’re right. Despite this turning into the biggest MFK blowout in history and the fact that I’ve yet to see the movie, I can’t deny writing about something that made $200 million in 2 1/2 days. Marrying Scarlett Johansson because she’s Scarlett Johansson. I know some people out there think she’s getting fat or old or isn’t as hot as advertised, but I’ve had a thing for her since her ass opened up Lost in Translation. Fucking Cobie Smulders because she’s hot and not Gwyneth Paltrow. I hate Gwyneth Paltrow with the force of 1000 suns. GP is the definition of a pretentious, uppity, entitled bitch. And I say that confidently as someone who has never and will never speak to her face-to-face. Brick to the dome.
GP is a fucking smoke bomb in the two scenes shes in in the movie. That being said, Marry smulders, fuck SJ, kill GP, because gp is outclassed
CANCEL PHILLY SITE
I would tear Scarjo in half.
Never been an easier kill in the world than Gwyneth Paltrow. I would rather fuck a cactus and marry a dude.
I hate gwenith paltrow (sweet name cunt)
Very easy for the actresses, harder for the characters they play. M-Scarlett, F-Cobie, K-Gwyneth. M-Potts, F-Blsck Widow, K-Robin’s Character
M Colby, F Scarlett, Kill Gwyneth Easiest MFK ever.
Marry – Scarlett — hottest of the bunch
Fuck – Colby, hotter than Gweneth, not as hot as Scarlett. But still fucking gorgeous.
Kill Gweneth — for all the same reasons you all want to kill her for. Can’t stand her, hate any movie she is in. MOST OVERRATED ACTRESS of her era
I’m with cncguy – M Colby (She’s a younger/hotter version of Jennifer Connelly), F Scarlett (Long in the tooth but still hot) and K Gwyneth. Gwyneth puzzles me. I think she’s kind of hot, but then she uglies it up, then she’s a smoke, but then she opens her mouth and makes me want to suffocate her. I’m terribly vexed…
Depends on character or actress. I’ll marry Pepper, she seems like cool shit. I’d kill Gwyneth, but I decided to hate fuck the shit out of her instead. Colby gets the kill in both circumstances sadly and scarlett gets the marry or the fuck as black widow.
MattyG, how is 26 long in the tooth? ScarJo is the youngest one of the 3. Marrying her, Fucking Colbie, and Killing Paltrow
Women peak at around 19-21. After that it’s all downhill and Scarlett is a great example. Take her in Match Point or Lost in Translation, she’s friggin mint A++++. Now though, things are sagging, cheese is building, etc etc. Don’t get me wrong, still hot, but past her prime.
Movie was awesome