DMTens of thousands of ultra-Orthodox Jewish men attended a rally Sunday at the New York Mets’ stadium on the dangers of the Internet and how to use modern technology in a religiously responsible way. Overlooking an inherent contradiction, the rally was live-streamed across the web and attendees posted messages to Twitter throughout the event. Women were not permitted to attend the meeting at Citi Field in Queens but were able to benefit from the live broadcast and female groups watched the proceedings in schools and event halls in ultra-Orthodox neighborhoods. The event garnered so much interest that organizers rented the nearby Arthur Ashe Stadium for the overflow crowd. Eytan Kobre, a lawyer who is the spokesman for the event’s organizers, said the rally’s purpose was not to ban the Internet but to learn how to harness it. Shlomo Cohen of Toronto told The New York Times that he uses the Internet for shopping, business and staying in touch with friends, but that ‘desires are out there.’ ‘We have to learn how to control ourselves,’ Mr Cohen said.

You said it, Shlomo. Hard to control yourself out on these rugged Cyberspace streets. Violence and corruption and bacon and sheet-less sex every place you turn. The playground of the Devil. You guys believe in the Devil? Well if so…his name should be “Internet”.

But allow me — as the trolling Philly fan that I am — to be the first to laugh my ass off congratulate the Mets organization and the fine people over at Citi Field for finally getting a legit sellout. This is EASILY the best thing since Nick Cannon hug night. No more questionable sellouts or working the numbers to raise the tally or anything.  No more buy 1 get 1 ticket deals.  We’re talking tens of thousands of real, live non-television watching Torah-crushing Orthodox Jewish butts in the seats. Sure they don’t watch baseball or eat pretty much anything at the concession stands…but it’s a start.

I wonder if they got a good price on this event. I bet they got a good price.