Marry - Dirk’s Wife Jessica Olsson
Fuck - Nash’s Girlfriend Brittney Richardson
Kill - Collison’s Wife Robbie Harriford
Let me start off by saying congrats to Dirk on getting married…twice. Dude got hitched in a traditional Kenyan ceremony as well as on his home turf of Germany. Honestly, Dirk Nowitzki’s African wedding could’ve been on Comedy Central on repeat and it would have done the job. Seven foot-ass Dirk in a dashiki mumbling knocks and clicks is comedy gold. Curious as to what is involved in a traditional German wedding? Spitting on a yarmulke and eating cased meats?
Anyway, marrying Dirk’s chick because the dude seems like an awesome guy and I’m sure he wouldn’t marry some bitch just because. I trust Dirk’s judgement. Obviously fucking Nash’s girlfriend because she’s young and hot and hot. Picture doesn’t do her justice but Steve knows what he’s doing. And sorry to murder your spouse Nick Collison, but you knew what you were getting into bro.