LGAs previously mentioned, it was Mimi’s birthday last week. Only…she doesn’t call it a birthday. She calls it the 327 Anniversary. God I love her. Anyway, here are some pictures she posted on Instagram of what Nick Cannon did for her on the 327 Anniversary.

The first picture is the official shot Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon released for Easter. It teaches me one of two things:

1) Nick Cannon is a gaping sweaty vagina and loves Mariah Carey so much that he’s willing to allow this rapidly-aging giant cameltoe to dominate him in every facet of his life


2) Nick Cannon loves money far more than dignity and realizes that he can stay relevant by being in this relationship and not have to continue hugging Mets fans for attention.

The worst part is I’m fairly certain the answer is number two, which is almost scarier. Never in my life have I seen a man take a public pussy whipping this bad.  MC is making this fool earn every bit of fame and money he gets from their marriage.  Giant back tats, Easter dominance photos, and getting led about by the wrist like a toddler is next-level no balls behavior.

Without question Mariah Carey has sex with huge manwhores while Nick watches.  Without question.