120804-N-ZZ999-001 SAN DIEGO, Calif. (Jul. 30, 2012) The Laser Weapon System (LaWS) temporarily installed aboard the guided-missile destroyer USS Dewey (DDG 105) (shown here conducting an operational test) in San Diego, Calif., is a technology demonstrator built by the Naval Sea Systems Command from commercial fiber solid state lasers, utilizing combination methods developed at the Naval Research Laboratory. LaWS can be directed onto targets from the radar track obtained from a MK 15 Phalanx Close-In Weapon system or other targeting source. The Office of Naval Research’s Solid State Laser (SSL) portfolio includes LaWS development and upgrades providing a quick reaction capability for the fleet with an affordable SSL weapon prototype. This capability provides Navy ships a method for Sailors to easily defeat small boat threats and aerial targets without using bullets. (U.S. Navy video by Office of Naval Research/ Released)
Did you see that, North Korea? Of course you didn’t, because it was a FUCKING INVISIBLE LASER CANNON. You ain’t about that life, Other Korea. You ain’t. So you can keep popping off at the mouth to our boys in the fun Korea and talking shit to several of our 800+ military bases in 63 countries, doesn’t mean a thing to us. Not a thing. Because the second you get froggy and try to jump we’ll deploy a laser or two and send North Korea back to the 1800s. And that’s 1800s American time, which is about the 1400s for you.
Hard to not picture Barry O blasting old Lil Jon Crunk-era jams in a pair of Dre Beats while doing the cooking dance and watching this type of shit go down. The Awl was right, this situation calls for Lil Scrappy.