USAtoday – Hostess Brands, maker of Twinkies, Ding Dongs and Wonder Bread said Friday that it has filed a motion in Bankruptcy Court seeking permission to close and sell its assets, including its iconic brands. The company says it has suspended bakery operations, but deliveries will continue and Hostess retail stores will stay open to sell products already in the pipeline. Hostess workers remained on picket lines across the country Thursday night, refusing a company ultimatum to return to work or face the liquidation of the national baker. The company had warned it would file a motion in U.S. Bankruptcy Court to shut operations if enough workers didn’t end their weeklong strike by 5 p.m. ET Thursday. A shutdown would result in the loss of about 18,000 jobs. “Many people have worked incredibly long and hard to keep this from happening, but now Hostess Brands has no other alternative than to begin the process of winding down and preparing for the sale of our iconic brands,” CEO Gregory Rayburn said in a letter to employees posted on the company website. He added that all employees will eventually lose their jobs, “some sooner than others.”

Trolling? How could I possibly be trolling by telling the truth? The truth is Hostess cakes have tasted like dry garbage for decades now. Anybody who tells you a Twinkie is a delicious treat instead of a point of American nostalgia is either lying or has a serious taste bud deficiency. Twinkies taste like a sponge filled with week old microwaved sugarfree marshmallow inside. Sure they’ll fool you a couple times a year because you’re hungry, but after one bite you’ll remember just how bland and horrible they’ve always been.

You’d be hard pressed to name anything on the Hostess roster that isn’t a flavorless packet of corn sugar. Hell, I’d even put Little Debbies ahead of Hostess at this point, and Little Debbies oatmeal cream pies are actually a secret ploy by the government to give inner city children Type-2 diabetes.

The order goes like This:

1. Tastykake
2. Entenmann’s
3. Little Debbie’s
4. Actual Garbage
5. Hostess

Fuck outta here, Hostess.